Kermit sings Hurt (NSFW)

This has to be one of the saddest videos I've ever seen. Kermit all huddled up in a fetal position in the shower will forever be ingrained in my head. Having technical difficulties with loading, so here is the link.

Dog Plays Virtual Soccer

Very nice!

Mudflap Man Sticker

Wow. Maybe this should be my new avatar. Lol.

Get them here.

Just a quote for tonight

Some people will tell you your cup is half empty; others will say it is half full.

I will always try to tell you: measure the volume of the cup and the liquid inside.

That should make it easier for us to determine a fullness or emptiness level.

Frosting!

Brush Your Teeth!

5 Minutes to Kill Yourself

Because who said games can't be cynical?

[5 Minutes to Kill Yourself]

Game Review: God of War II (PS2)

The people over at Ars Technica have gotten their paws on God of War II and already provided a review. Sounds intriguing, but as someone who never made it through the first God of War, I doubt I'll be partaking anytime soon. The original was great, but it eventually got too difficult for me. I've never been a fan of platform games, with their requirements for precise button mashing. Unfortunately, I have the dexterity of a penguin. Anyhoo, have a peek if it's something that interests you.

[Ars Technica Reviews God of War II]

Program: WordWeb

Lifehacker's download of the day is an excellent tool for writers (or for people who need help writing). CTRL + right-click a word to bring up a dictionary and thesaurus, as well as additional information you might find useful. Some words even have links to Wikipedia. Very useful when you want to further research an obscure word or etymology.

[WordWeb]

Greek Mythology Genealogy

Here's a link to a family tree of the Greek Gods. Nice.

[Greek Gods]

The Best Political Ad Ever Made

EXCELLENT!!! This wasn't authorized by Obama or his people, mind you. It's an excellent remix of an Apple 1984 Ad.

The Coolest Grandma in the World (NSFW)

This grandma kicks ass and takes names.

Joe Rogan vs. A Heckler (NSFW)

Joe Rogan has been all over comedy news lately. Apparently, he's releasing a new DVD within a month, so it's no surprise that he's working on exposure, whether good or bad.

First, with him calling out Carlos Mencia and accusing him of joke theft ...



Now, here he skillfully skewers a heckler who won't shut the hell up ....


Joe Rogan VS Heckler - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

I've never been a fan of Joe Rogan's comedy, but he's quite funny here.

New Species Found - The Clouded Leopard

Talk about a cool name. The Bornean Clouded Leopard sports the biggest fangs in the cat kingdom. I guess a diet of monkeys, pigs and deer are good for your pelt because these cats are downright gorgeous. I wonder how long it will be before some a-hole kills one to turn it into a fur coat?

Website: Photo Archive

500 of the best photos on the internet. Excellent site for new wallpaper images.

[Photo Archive]

300: Beautiful Bigotry Writ Large

300 is one of the most visually stunning films ever made. It is easily the greatest visual masterpiece of the year. But as much as I loved the film, I hated it just as much. For all the lush colors and ultra violence, there's a disagreeable story lurking just beneath the surface. The subtext of the film is blatantly offensive and just plain bigoted. I would not recommend this film be viewed by impressionable teenagers, which is who it seems to unfortunately be marketed toward.

300 suffers from several flaws that make it disturbing to watch. Like eating a candied apple that has ground glass inside, you will probably enjoy it, then walk away from the experience feeling like something is terribly wrong.

Racism

I don't understand why Hollywood seems to insist its audience is entirely white, but 300's biggest flaw is caused precisely by this never-ending delusion. Not only are we to believe the Spartans are all Anglos (a matter the history books would disagree with vehemently), we're also expected to believe the Persians were a bunch of mulattoes and Negroids in eyeliner.

The Persians, in fact, are quite diverse, as opposed to the Spartan army. There are black envoys, ambassadors, and messengers from Persia. There are, of course, some Caucasians in the Persian army as well, and even a couple of Asians thrown in for good measure. There are also a number of freakish, monstrous-looking warriors and slaves in the Persian army. There are also any number of criminals associated with the Persian army. I gather, we're to equate diversity with ugliness, slavery, and criminality then?

The message seems quite clear almost from the start of 300: namely, that it's about the final, great white stand against an onslaught of racial hegemony. No, Matt Drudge, this isn't quite an analogy you can easily apply to the Iraq war, but it's an ugly allegory all the same.

Homophobia

Perhaps just as specious as the overt ethnocentrism is this underlying tone of homophobia that's more than blatant throughout the film. I won't draw a conclusion about Greek eroticism (it's been done), but we're led to believe the entire reason the Spartans choose to fight is because the Athenians chose to and they're a bunch of (ahem) "fag" philosophers. The Spartans, not wanting to be shown up, are obliged to enter this suicidal conflict against the Persians as a show of masculinity. In essence, gays are to blame for the Spartans getting involved. Sad scapegoating apparently goes back thousands of years.

This isn't the only outright homophobia in 300 either. At one point, we're treated to viewing Xerxes' concubine, which, of course, has a plethora of tongue-licking, erotic lesbians there as an enticement, and a number of activities that would make a typical S&M gathering look tame in comparison. Not to mention Xerxes himself, who's pierced to the nines and could easily double as a draq queen stand-in for Ru Paul, with all that makeup and those perfectly manicured long nails.

In other words, we're supposed to believe the Spartans are a bunch of masculine, white, heterosexual males fighting against an onslaught of diverse queers, freaks, and sexual deviants, despite the historical evidence that shows the Greeks were probably a bunch of pederasts who were probably more morally twisted than the Persians themselves ever were.

Conservative Politics

There is a strong undertone of "family values" being the drive behind the 300's choice to fight. They do so to protect their families and to ensure the sovereignty of Sparta. Supposedly, none of the Persians have families. Their only motivation is a bloodthirsty desire to bugger the residents of Greece and enslave all the hot Spartan women? Excuse me? Something just doesn't jive.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Perhaps the biggest flaw with 300 was also the most obvious. So obvious, in fact, that most people won't notice it at all. Here we have 300 men in the Battle of Thermopylae squaring off against 1 million+ Persians. According to history, the 300 successfully vanquished around 20,000 Persians. This, of course, begs the question: what happened to all the blood?

The fight choreography is stunningly poetic. Limbs get lobbed off and digital blood goes flying everywhere in slow motion in several scenes. But why is it that none of the Spartans are covered in blood? Not even their hands? Even their weapons look clean after supposed hours-long battles. Not that I wanted to see the blood, but there's something disturbingly wrong about a movie that exhibits all this violence like it's a pleasant music video, but conveniently leaves out all the blood. It's almost as if it's trying to say the act of killing is clean when it's a Persian who's being killed. Blood is a powerful symbol in storytelling. The decision to leave it out is very telling.

Only Hotties live in Sparta

From the start, it's explained that defective babies (namely, runts and those born with deformities) were discarded by the Spartans by being tossed off a cliff into a pile of bones below. This, apparently, has resulted in the world's most skilled warriors. So skilled, in fact, that they all sport perfect 6-packs as they walk toward battle, shirtless in all their conviction. Hollywood seems to have forgotten there was such a thing as a bronze breastplate. There is no room for deviation, either. Hunchbacks and old folk have no place in the Spartan army. In fact, there are no fat people, no ugly people, and no people with deformities in Sparta. Oh, and the women? They were all perfect 10's. Even the peasant working women.

Sexism

If there's anything 300 wants to get right, it's the depiction of how Spartans treated their women. Spartan women were, in fact, the leaders of their society. It was necessary for the women to be able to run things while their husbands were off fighting wars. Sparta was one of the only places in the Classical world where a girl could get an education. What's sad about 300, however, is the lack of many women at all in the story. There is one powerful woman in the film (the Queen) and she's fairly powerless, and ends up being victimized (and later vindicated, fortunately). The entire concept of femininity doesn't seem to exist in Sparta. Women are nothing but baby-making machines, even if they do produce Spartan men. There's something very wrong about showing this to teenage boys, mind you.

Despite all these issues (and I'm sure there are more that I didn't catch), 300 is a solid piece of beautiful celluloid work. It's quite gorgeous to look at, kind of like a Haute Couture model who's hiding an eating disorder and a nasty coke habit. But just as you wouldn't want your kids hanging out with Kate Moss, you should probably keep them from watching this one unless they have a sound enough mind to think for themselves. Sure, it's fun to watch America's Next Top Model, but would you really want to bring one home to mom? Sheesh.

Sifted: 8/10

What the Death of Captain America Really Means

The death of Captain America was all over the news yesterday, but no one seemed to indicate the real meaning behind his death. The media was quick to show it as some sort of negative, unamerican, liberal plot device. They mixed it up as some sort of contrived "America-hater" conspiracy.

But Captain America's death actually signified the opposite.

See, toward the end of the Marvel Civil War series, Captain America had become a sort of liberal ideologue and leader of a resistance force of superheroes (the Secret Avengers) that were opposed to Iron Man and his Republican/fascist/Bush-like cronies. Captain America was leading a revolt against a Patriot-Act-like law requiring all heroes to register and identify themselves to the government. Captain America was not representing a conservative, republican morality toward the end of his life, but standing for the old, liberal ideals of freedom and equality. It's not so ironic that Captain America was assassinated by a sniper's bullet, reminiscent of the death of JFK, MLK, and Robert Kennedy.

His death was a political hit, most likely financed by the uber-wealthy, republican Iron Man and his grunts. And his death symbolizes what is happening to America today at the hands of the Republican party.

In essence, the death of Captain America is symbolic of the death of the old America we grew up knowing and loving.

Read the Premise for Marvel Comic's Civil War on Wikipedia for more background.

[MSNBC: Death to 'America']

Civil War Remixed

I was a comic book junkie when I was a kid. I haven't really followed the stories much since Jr. High, so the death of Captain America came as a mild surprise. Then I came across these parodies of the recent Marvel Civil War comics. I wouldn't even bother reading the originals, but these remixes with their incredible dialog would probably make me buy a few books just to satisfy the giggle factor.

Cool House in Brazil

Less than 2 meters wide.

Click through to the website for pics of the interior.

[Narrow Habitation]

R.I.P. Jean Baudrillard (1929 - 2007)

The French Postmodernist died a couple of days ago. Most people haven't realized his contributions yet. A sad day for reality....

[Wikipedia - Jean Baudrillard]

OMG! Rage Against the Machine is REUNITING!!!

I don't know how this juicy piece of information got past me, but it did. The greatest band of all time, Rage Against the Machine, is getting back together for this year's Coachella concert (April 29th)! This, after Chris Cornell decided to walk away from Audioslave citing irreconcilable differences. Apparently, the now defunct Audioslave decided to get back with Zack de la Rocha once the proverbial nail was in Audioslave's coffin.

I never did care much for Rage Against the Garden Audioslave. Their sound just didn't seem to mesh with Chris Cornell's ethereal vocals. Nothing against Chris Cornell, but he should really stick to his solo career and leave the heavy, dyspeptic rock to the original members of the Machine.

What is this, 1994? With the Smashing Pumpkins making a comeback, I might need to enroll in college again!

note: Woops. I got so excited, I forgot to add the link to the newspiece.

[Chris Cornell quits Audioslave]

The First Annoying Vegan

Too funny.

[GeekCulture.com: The First Annoying Vegan]

Grungy Gaye Gets It On

Check out this homeless dude as he hits it out of the park at the Apollo theater. Totally awesome.

Website: Scrib'd

It's like a YouTube for Documents, books, articles.... Check it out and sign up now to secure yourself a good nickname. This site is likely to be a big player down the line.

[scrib'd]

The Violence of the Lambs!

Check out this trailer for Black Sheep and chuckle until your diaphragm gets all numb and tingly. This makes Snakes On A Plane look downright amateurish.

Hey Matt Drudge, is this some sort of analogy for the rise of Christian Fundamentalism? Clearly, the scientists represent Atheists, right? Lol.

Cherokee Nation Ejects Slave Descendents

Perhaps no other American Indian nation garners as many smirks among other tribes as the Cherokee. The so-called "civilized" tribe has a history of vile behavior that other tribes have frowned upon for more than a century. One of these blunders of Cherokee history is the fact they owned black slaves prior to the civil war.

Okay, so every people has a few skeletons in their closet. But rather than rectify this problematic history, the tribe has instead voted to eject members who are descendants of former slaves belonging to the tribe. How pathetic.

I wonder about Cherokee identity, having never met a member who wasn't actually white.

Yeah, I said it.

In fact, if you ask 10 random white people about their race, you're bound to run into at least one who claims Cherokee ancestry. I wonder how much they paid for their newfound identity? And why weren't the slave descendants given the same option to buy into the tribe like white folk have been doing for decades?

How about if the other Native American Nations hold a vote and decide to eject the Cherokees as a tribe, once and for all? If it's about racial purity, after all, the Cherokee hardly qualify anymore anyway.

[Cherokees Eject Slave Descendents]

TV: Bizzare Foods with Andrew Zimmern (TRVL)

I tuned into this show because Anthony Bourdain was on the other night (I missed that show, unfortunately). This week's episode was in Morocco as the host, Andrew Zimmern, made his way across the country filling his fat American maw with a number of disgusting meats. I'm no vegetarian, but after watching Andrew snarf down a goat eye, I am seriously considering it.

This guy makes Anthony Bourdain's show look tame, but I suppose that's gonna happen, considering how Bourdain's show really focuses on the places he visits, while Bizzare Foods seems to be about finding the grossest food around the world. It reminds me of the Crocodile Hunter, but for culture and food, not animal conservation.

Mmm. Lamb's Head, Pigeon Pie and Stingray.... Andrew certainly has a talented for descriptions, saying this about Goat Cous Cous: "It's not so much that you can taste the hay and straw in the flesh itself, but if you close your eyes I think you can."

Bizarre Foods is on the Travel Channel at 6PM and 9PM on Monday nights. Don't say we didn't warn you.

MMA Hilarity - NSFW

MMA Fever continues to surprise us, this time by presenting a funny video featuring Reggie Warren, Jr. Funny, but definitely not safe for work, unless you're wearing headphones.

300 a Veiled Analogy About Bush?

Articles on the Drudgereport like this one really piss me off. It would seem the muck raker is trying to force the producers of the upcoming (March 9th) film, 300, to take a stance on the Iraq war, either pro or against. My biggest problem with it all is that sometimes, just sometimes, stories aren't really analogies for anything! 300 was obviously produced because of the success of Sin City, another Frank Miller masterpiece (that also wasn't some secretive plot against the Bush administration, mind you).

Why does this war film suddenly have to carry a deeper meaning, or to be a commentary on our modern lives? Because the main plot happens to be about war? It simply looks like a celebration of gore and battle cinematography. It doesn't need to be about anything else, really.

Does it?

Maybe, in fact, that's the entire point of the movie, for despite the success of the Spartan warriors to deflect the oncoming Persian army, the ultimate outcome is the same: Sparta fades away into a few paragraphs in our high school history books. Maybe that, in fact, is the point: for all the saber rattling, war is a waste of time, a sort of Superbowl before the invention of the proverbial football.

In other words, Matt Drudge, you're the messenger standing on the edge of the cavernous hole and those of us who actually think for ourselves are the guys kicking you down into it, all the while yelling "This is Sparta!" How's that for an analogy? Now go crawl under a rock and shaddap.

UFC 68!

Randy Couture is BACK!!! Unbelievable. Randy looked so good in his bout against Tim Sylvia that I was left wondering if Tim threw the fight. Randy dominated him on the ground AND standing. Not bad for 43 years old!

Watch last night's fights here.

[MMA Fever]

Excellent Snickers Commercial

Snickers: Stop and Go
Uploaded by Razorbuzz

Sorry for the delay in posting...

Blogger decided my blog was too similar to spam, so they blocked me for a couple of days while a human had a look-see to verify my smut was actually authentic. I guess I passed, so now I'm back.

Welcome to the Slave State

So , Colorado is going to start using inmates as slave labor to fill the migrant shortage. Apparently, this is the fallout from all the political posturing that has recently taken place regarding immigration.

Let's do the math:

• Inmates will earn .60/day working the fields. After a week's work, they can afford to buy a pack of cigarettes with which to commit gradual suicide!
  
• Farmers will spend more for the "privilege" of hiring inmates than they were spending on traditional farm workers.
  
• Many farmers are having to ask for government subsidies, again.
  
• Inmates will have to be supervised and few (if any of them) have the required experience to do the work.

So, if the workers are only paid .60/day, where is the rest of the money going?

What if they had field duty and no one came? Wouldn't it be nice if the guards had to do the labor themselves to fulfill the prison's contracts? That's a comedy script just waiting to be written. Somebody get on that.

And amidst all this, you can probably say goodbye to cheap produce for the rest of your life.

Jen Stark's Construction Paper Art

Quite pretty.

[Jen Stark]