PROPAGANDA SIFTER

Company of Heroes

2009-03-05T13:56:00.001-08:00

Company of Heroes is the greatest real-time strategy game I've ever played. Campaign mode is challenging, graphically appealing, and so simple to control.

The problem arises when I try to get into multiplayer. Simply trying to login to multiplayer means I have to download a number of patches. These download by themselves. A few of them are huge (we're talking 1.8 Gigs for one of them), so they're slow to load. Once these are installed, I load the CD back in the tray to play. There is no option to PLAY the game! Only an Install button is available. I click Install. I get an error message saying the game is already installed. I try to load the game from the Start Menu, but there is no option available. I finally go to the install directory and try to find an executable file to click on or shortcut to. When I finally find it, it loads directly into Multiplayer and tells me I have to download that same 1.8 Gig patch!!! I've already uninstalled and reinstalled everything TWICE!

I go online to try to find a resolution. There is no link for Technical Support on the Company of Heroes website. I go to the forums. These are littered with posts from people having problems loading patches, joining multiplayer games, or dropping from the server. There are no real answers from anyone resembling Tech Support. Just a few random suggestions from people to try this or that solution.

Is it commonplace that a great game is often marred by technical issues that go unresolved? I have become so stressed out over this issue that I want to trash the game entirely.

Way to go, THQ and Relic. I won't be buying anymore games with your logos attached.

Sifted: 4/10 for compelling campaign but unplayable multiplayer.

Review: Let the Right One In (2008)

2009-02-11T14:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, it does make "Twilight" look amateurish.

from Wikipedia:

Directed by Tomas Alfredson, was released in 2008 to widespread critical acclaim. An English language remake, to be directed by Matt Reeves, is scheduled for release in 2010.

I suspect the English version will lose all the subtlety and play down the issues to make it more appealing to the masses, thereby destroying the story in its entirety. It's the timid, subtle cinematographic elements of this film that give it credence. When we look into Eli the vampire's eyes and see how oddly blue they are, even in the dark; when Oskar has a sublte face twitch, or his gaze fades, or he is admiring a classmate. I suspect any English translation will lose its charm, by virtue of us American's having the subtlety of Anne Coulter at a gay pride parade.

If you like morbid-type film, you need to see this movie now. I wouldn't rate it as a thriller or a horror movie, or even a romance; it's kind of all three rolled into one. And very much a movie to watch on a hot, midsummer sunday, when you're lingering on the couch and dreaming of the snow.

This film is ultimately subtle, rarely relying in the cliché special fx we see in typical vampire movies. And perhaps more impressively, it doesn't delve into the romance of being a vampire. Eli's existence is a lonely, solitary existence, for the most part. By virtue of her vampirism, perhaps out of an analogy of outward racism, she is dejected by society and forced to live in an apartment complex similar to the projects. When she meets Oskar, the film's protagonist, we see her standing triumphantly over a busted jungle gym. This is the theme of the film, in fact: to win out, despite your oddness.

The soundtrack was so subtle that I don't even remember there being one and I didn't miss it. That, in my opinion, is the definition of subtlety.

The cinematography was excellent. I noticed no problems with lighting or failed special fx, save during one instance: cats, is all I'm gonna say. You could tell their budget got stretched there, but it wasn't so jarring to cause any permanent damage to the integrity of the film.

This is a modern-day Romeo & Juliet. Oskar is beaten by school bullies, while Eli is subjected to a life of boredom in her apartment. Only by using each other's skills will they find a way out of their pitiful lives.

If this movie fails anywhere, it's in the slow, drawling, almost dream-like way this story is told. Perhaps it is this that reminds the viewer of their own adolescence. Nevertheless, there are times when camera lingers in a place we don't want to be for a touch too long, but that's part of the beauty. I really wanted to SEE the outcome of their spree and I was left feeling as if there was no final development.

There are places the director seemed to feel comfortable, while other places he did not (or could not show us--probably due to budget constraints). If the English translation could flush out these parts, it might be good. I think if they stick to the same point of view as this film, they will do well.

Somebody give THIS movie an Academy Award, please.

Sifted: 9.5/10

How much will they pay Sam Adams' accuser?

2009-01-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

I am curious how much Beau Breedlove will be offered to "turn State's evidence" against Sam Adams during this devious attempt to ~~investigate~~ drag another Democrat through the mud? How much will it be Beau? Couple of million dollars to sell out your ethics and ruin the life of one of your former lovers? Just how much is a gay man's soul going for these days?

I realize Beau is young, but I hope he has more sense than to sell his soul to the media and ruin another man's life and potential in the process. Only bad could come from that. It's certainly not worth any amount of money to bring about someone's ruination. If Beau is a good person, I know he'll realize that and turn down any offers. Lying about a relationship with a person as good as Sam Adams is simply evil.

Sam Adams is gay. He was involved with a younger man. So what? If Sam could get married, he probably would be married by now. But he can't, so there is no point in trying to discredit him morally when the man is obviously single and ready to mingle. I hate to be cliche, but quit hating the player and hate the game.

If Sam broke a law, surely it might involve the buggering of a 17-year-old gay man-boy (although it's possible that Sam was the one being buggered). It's my understanding that they never knew each other even existed prior to Beau being 17--which I'm sure the media are frothing to discover was actually 16, or better yet: 11. Sheesh.

I realize sex with a 17-year-old is illegal in the US, but come on ... really? Maybe Sam Adams should have married the kid first? In fact, none of this would be a problem if he could, right? Double-standardized Hypocrite Alert!

I, for one, am not buying it. And I won't be reading the Willamette Week OR Just Out anymore either.

If you are going down, Sam Adams, go down with some flare, will ya? Don't crawl away like a political lamb to the slaughter. Go out with court cases and courtroom drama, with lawsuits against every newspaper in the county, against the city, against the county--I recommend a good defamation lawsuit against the Willamette Week and Just Out, for starters. This kind of information is not newsworthy or of any benefit to the community. Mainly because no one cares what you do in your bedroom, Sam Adams. And the community needs to treat those who do shamefully, for this type of smear campaign is costly in money and human souls and it needs to simply end. It is the darkest propaganda.

We need to protect the children from watching this modern-day witch-hunt, to refrain from giving them any bright ideas, and to protect them from the wiley, wicked ways of the liars and false prudes who are pursuing the downfall of a gay man right before our eyes.

Review: Black Milk "Tronic" (2008)

2009-01-18T00:57:00.000-08:00

This is the best Rap album I've heard in years. I'm SERIOUS! We're talking six 5-star songs out of 14. And two more 4-stars. In this day and age of fabricated Hip-Hop, an album with three or more 5-star songs is good, so this album is off the chain. Some of these joints are epic, almost anthemic, with great beats and some electronica mixed in with classic soul all mashed up in it for great effect. The flows are tight and don't bother with all that flossy bullshit and foul language that so many lesser rappers are prone to spit. This album resurrects Rap and yanks it from the hands of all those trashy billboard hos once and for all.

If there's any weakness, it's that it could be a little harder, but that just goes with the territory when you stir in Electronica.

Sifted: 10/10

Review: The Wrestler (2008)

2009-01-18T00:17:00.000-08:00

I'm not a hater. Mickey Rourke has had it tough, and there's nothing Hollywood loves more than a comeback, and The Wrestler is more than a worthy entry for movie of the year; not to mention, Rourke's performance is strong, nor does Marisa Tomei disappoint in her cliché role as a stripper with a good heart.

"But come on! It's a movie about Wrestling!" some people might say, and they would be right, but it's a film about so much more than that. This is a film about redemption and the sordid elements of a life lived to pursue a dream. Rourke's performance is spot-on and very touching.

The ultra-violence of the sport at times becomes laughable and it's horrifying that we can laugh at it, but the fact that it's all an illusion, however dangerous, makes it somehow less disturbing, even comedic. When Rourke steps backstage after his masterful performance, covered in blood, embedded by glass, thumbtacked back and all, he's met with applause and cheers from his co-performers and we're shown the ugly truth: that a man has damaged his life (and continues to do so) to create an illusion for us to enjoy. It's ultimately very sad and I left the movie feeling depressed.

There was a strong Christian subtext that bothered me. Rourke's character is compared to Jesus, undergoing bloody punishment like the Christ in The Passion. The end almost slides into blatant obviousness that comes just short of getting all church-preachy, off the top rope, hands extended all messianically. Hell, is that even a word?

Despite the obvious subtext, the movie is great. I just don't know if it's Movie of the Year good. I suspect The Curious Case of Benjamin Button will steal the win, simply because it's safer and more sanitized, much like Forrest Gump beat out Pulp Fiction. But time will vindicate this movie, for it's an instant classic reminiscent of Raging Bull. And while I don't forgive Rourke's douchebaggery from the 80's when he was all wife-beating and being a giant asshole, I give his performance kudos. And Marisa's role as a washed out stripper is a mirror to Rourke's, and in many ways almost sadder. Honestly, I don't know how Aronofsky pulled this one off without elliciting the audience's tears. This film is beautiful and harsh all at once, like a dollar bill stapled to someone's forehead for nothing more than comic effect.

Sifted: 9/10

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Now playing: Black Milk - Losing Out (feat. Royce Da 5'9")
via FoxyTunes

Review: Far Cry 2 (XBox 360)

2008-12-04T03:11:00.001-08:00

Wow, I've never seen such a beautiful game marred by sluggish controls and generally bad gameplay.

You play as a mercenary in an African country on the brink of civil unrest. Your mission: find the person arming both sides in the conflict--aka The Jackal--and eliminate him.

Ubisoft went out of their way to give Far Cry 2 a lush landscape, full of captivating imagery, a massive, open gameworld, and incredible audio. Problem is: it's a hot mess.

First of all, the gameplay is frustrating. Ubisoft pulled out all the stops and wanted to give us a massive gaming world to play through. Unfortunately, this is what gets in the way of enjoying the campaign! You are given missions that are usually on the other side of the map. And the map is huge, mind you. We're talking miles. Each mission seems to relish in sending us on a 5-10 minute trek just to get to the mission! And that's not the most irksome part! There are armed guards and patrols that come at you relentlessly. So by the time you actually get to the mission, you may be running low on ammo, and/or injured and low on health packs. And there is no way to simply jump around to the next mission. Yes, there is a bus you can take to four other points on the map, but those points are usually just as far, since they're positioned near the four corners of the map! Who's the idiot who came up with that concept? Fire him or her at once. For even clearing a guard station will not aid you next time you need to cross that path because the armed guards simply respawn over time. Ack.

Fun, Quick Gunplay? NO.
We are given several character choices at the start. Refreshing. But there's no real relevance regarding who you choose because this is a first person shooter anyway. In other words, you won't see yourself, so who cares who you choose? Cool, yes. Required? No. Important in the game? No. Big waste of time? Yes.

And despite the spoiler, I'm gonna tell you anyway: you start the game with malaria. So all the cool things you would like to do will cause you to die, like oh, running and jumping. I swear, this is becoming more and more like a bad relationship. Far Cry 2 is like being able to date a supermodel who never lets you touch her. Beautiful, sophisticated, but a little shallow and ultimately frustrating.

There are a number of side missions you can choose to pursue, along with missions you are forced to perform in order to acquire medicine. Because if you run out of malaria pills, you're likely to drop dead in the middle of a firefight. So hey, if you don't want to pursue those missions, you're free not to. But how much fun will you have when you're dropping dead in the middle of a mission? In other words, these are forced missions, veiled as not. Yeah, there's a beautiful open world to play in here, but having malaria is like being put on a short leash. Or like being forced to stay in your hotel room during your vacation, with diarrhea, on beach day.

There are some excellent points in the game, like being able to sneak up on someone with a machete (a gloriously missed opportunity to throw in some cinematic murder cutscenes ala Manhunt). Alas, no. We're left with a largely unwieldy mess that often times doesn't drop an opponent and leaves them calling their buddies for help. Other times, it seems like you've dropped someone with a tap that wouldn't hassle a fly.

Several times I was sent on missions to eliminate certain individuals in a no-gun zone. I used my machete. And suddenly half the town starts shooting at me! Even though no one witnessed the killing. It's just unfair and unpolished.

Throw in some cliche monkey bullshit diamond case collecting and I'm about to chuck this one out the DVD Drive.

But it's so pretty. I just can't bring myself to do it. It's like a love affair with low-grade Crystal Meth. You know it sucks. You know it's rotten. But you're chasing the dragon.And for what? Another diamond case with its huge solitary diamond that inches you closer to being able to buy an AK-47. Though everyone knows a diamond that big would buy you the entire country in a heartbeat. Just 6 more cases to locate via GPS until I can buy an AK! Bullshit.

Audio is something rarely noticed in gaming. A good soundtrack stands out. A bad soundtrack stands out like a sore thumb. I usually turn off the game music and stream my own tunes via my computer. This proved a challenge in this game, however. Boat engine noise would drown out anything I was listening to while I traveled downriver to my next distant mission. At other times, that same music would be too loud. Ugh. And there are no sound effect settings. So while characters converse in whispers, bullets and explosions are overbearing. And nothing sounds right. People who are fifty feet away sound like they're having a conversation right next to you. The sounds of the jungle seem to convincingly harbor wild animals stampeding beside you in the brush, but when you look they're farther than you can throw a football pass. The sound in this game is simply atrocious.

Driving is tedious. And looking at a map while driving doesn't seem to be a good option. For some reason, a gentle nudge with the right thumbstick would make me crane my neck as if I were having a stroke. Nothing some simple QA couldn't fix. It's a shame the game was shipped this way.

Everything else seems adequate. I am left feeling like Far Cry 2 dropped the ball miserably. I didn't even bother with the multiplayer. Simply because I could already tell the controls would be too frustrating. Aiming shouldn't be a chore in a video game. And when sending me on missions that span through 20 miles of jungle filled with omniscient guards, I'm sick and tired of it after the 4th mission or so. Nevermind the other 20.

I was left feeling like this was a game that could have just never been made. There was no real innovation here. The controls sucked, and ultimately, all this does is showcase Ubisoft's ability to make a pretty-looking jungle.

Sifted: 6.5 out of 10

Can we run a System Restore on the country, please?!?

2008-11-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't it be grand if we could rollback the country's systems and policies by at least 6 months? Obama will need to undo the changes being imposed by the current administration as they claw their way out of the white house.

Dammit, Bush just ... the whole thing!

DO OVER!!!

Game Review: Infinite Undiscovery (XBox 360)

2008-10-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

I truly thought this latest release from Square Enix, featuring seamless realtime battles, would be the end-all and be-all for the Japanese RPG. Looking at images from the trailers, I was amazed at just how much artistic endeavor must have gone into creating this. And the game is truly beautiful.

The main flaw this game has is control-related. Maybe they needed this to go through QA again? Certainly, there was no one in development to advocate for the player, because the control scheme is so clunky that there's no way anyone will enjoy playing this game beyond a couple of hours. And I suspect that wasn't what the developers intended, since the game comes on two discs.

The concept is that by using these newfangled tactics there will be an infinite world of discovery available to achieve victory. My problem was that there were so many things one could do that it diminished the value of the game. Rather than simply allowing the player to switch between characters, we are expected to perform Connected tactics and basically request our fellow characters to perform certain tasks. Unfortunately, the characters we're supposed to connect with are a bunch of idiots. Example: At one point, to open up another level, I need to attract two different types of animals to a gate where they will basically be used as keys. To attract these animals, I need to have one of my fellow characters cast a sort of charm that will allow me to command them toward me. The charm eventually wears off, meaning I need to cast the charm multiple times. But when I request the secondary character to cast the charm, he's busy playing with his belly button hair, so the animal crawls back to where it came from. Over and over, again. Another example: while storming a castle and being pelted with boulders by an ogre on a precipice, I try to use the archer character to shoot the ogre down. The aiming is so terrible that I end up wasting three shots to hit the ogre once. These shots are dependent on magic points, so I am eventually left without enough points to take another shot. My ballistas uselessly rest on the battle field, taking boulders until they crumble. There's no way I can see to move them, or to actually AIM them at the castle door, which is what they're supposed to be shooting at, right? My character is immediately stoned to death. Considering there are "infinite" ways to win, I really didn't see even one.

The other problem has to do with the age-old lack of direction. The maps are fairly nice to look at, but they give you no direction on where you're supposed to go. I had to enter the graveyard a second time because the map did not indicate a destination for me. I simply thought I had gotten to the end. So I made my way back toward town, spent a good 15 minutes going there, only to find I hadn't completed the quest, so I had to go back, only to discover the monsters I had killed the first time were BACK!!!

At another time, I ended up traipsing through a forest I didn't even need to enter, spending 20 minutes going down that path, just to come to a dead end. I then backtracked, only to find an obscure hole in the wall I could go through to go in the correct direction.

These problems with the game are not a FEATURE. They are a bug. There was nothing enjoyable about wasting a good 45 minutes of my life wandering down wrong paths.

Throw in an infinite number of enemies, without the ability to pause the game and use items or check maps and the little "realtime" feature starts to grate on your nerves.

It was ultimately more enjoyable to just play something else, and that's pretty sad. Thankfully, it was a rental.

Sifted: 5/10 - I give it 5 points for the beauty of the game. I take away 5 for the gameplay/controls.

Chicago area Sheriff refuses to evict foreclosure victims

2008-10-10T04:58:00.000-07:00

It's about time the police serve the people they are sworn to protect. Justice.

Metallica - Death Magnetic

2008-09-09T01:28:00.000-07:00

I used to be a fan of Metallica, prior to their whole Napster fiasco. A recent birthday had me reminiscing again and I decided to check this album out, just for the hell of it. Sadly, this release fails to hit the target on so many levels.

I sense Metallica is also trying to recapture its youth as well. The first few songs on this new album are straight out of Metallica's early days, pre-black album stuff, with Kirk convulsing on the guitar, and James hacking up a lung into the microphone. Nothing here seems to approach the genius that was Master of Puppets or Ride the Lightning, but the spirit is one and the same.

Where Metallica seems to shine most lately is during those times when they seem to relax into their talent. Instead of forcing the harsh guitar, they ease into a rhythm on songs like "The Day That Never Comes" and in the early parts of "The Unforgiven III". These songs are more reminiscent of the Black Album and far superior to the rest of what's being released here, in my opinion.

Unfortunately, my copy seemed to collapse into distortion at times. Not sure if that's because of the digital samples I downloaded, or because the music itself was crappy. My samples are 256 Mbps, which are typically good enough for most music I listen to.

I am left wondering if Metallica has lost its edge or if I've just grown up and lost my angst. Something tells me they will fail to touch the hearts and minds of today's youth with this latest attempt. While I appreciate their attempt to re-live their golden era, I just don't see Metallica making a comeback with this album. Not until they learn to relax and let their instruments sing again will they truly be able to raise themselves out of the muck that started soon after Napster. Not to mention the fact that the times have changed since then. The anger and angst are missing from these songs, and no amount of Kirk using his magic fingers on the fretboard can save this album from being mundane.

So glad I didn't spend money on this!

Sifted: 6 out of 10

Experienced

2008-09-07T14:59:00.001-07:00

You can probably drop off your laundry next door....

Soccer Fans Commit Police Brutality!

2008-09-04T01:18:00.000-07:00

Because instant karma's gonna get ya!

Rage Against The Machine!!!

2008-09-04T01:06:00.001-07:00

There's a reason I love this band and always have....

Wow

2008-08-30T13:28:00.001-07:00

Just wow.

Rampage Jackson is full-on insane.

2008-08-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

This CBS interview of Rampage Jackson is hard to watch. His explanation for his recent arrest: he was "betrayed" by a friend/family member/employee and proceeded to lose his mind. Too much Red Bull and videos of The Secret pushed him over the deep edge. Roll in some runaway Christianity and you've got a recipe for a lifetime in the mental ward.

Get Your Free OBAMA '08 Sticker

2008-06-09T17:48:00.000-07:00

Go to this MoveOn.org page and they'll ship you a free Obama '08 sticker.

Review: GRID (XBOX 360)

2008-06-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm a Racing game fan. I admit it. I enjoy both simulation and arcade racing games. The idea of playing a game that does BOTH well has always been an ideal for me. Unfortunately, GRID fails miserably to achieve that grand desire.

I will begin by saying I didn't play the game in its entirety. That's because I won't waste my time on trash. What I did play was wrong on so many levels that I can't bother to bring myself to pick up the controller again.

Whatever you do, don't buy this game; fortunately for me, I Gameflied it and will be returning it promptly.

The menus are reminiscent of Project Gotham Racing 3 (PGR3), with similar fonts and menu structures. This was comforting for me, even though I'm not a huge PGR fan. The familiarity induced feelings of intuitiveness that set me at ease. I figured this would be a good racing game right off the bat.

Total controller customization is another great feature that belongs in every good game. I was surprised to see I could assign any button to any feature I desired. More games need controls like this. Some gamers are older or differently-abled, so being able to setup your own control scheme is a definite plus.

All of my feelings of joy were dashed, however, after my very first race.

Let me say that the graphics in Grid are splendid and lush and the camera is exceptionally good at following your car and positioning itself at just the right moment to make cornering enjoyable, rather than an exercise in prayer. Having said that, the camera does get a bit jumpy if you corner and error (e.g. hit a wall or other car), which happens often in any racing game worth its salt. This jumpiness, however, wasn't enough to make the game awful.

Sadly, random glitchiness and stoppages totally ruin the racing experience. Hopefully, Codemasters will fix this in future updates. Otherwise, it's a game breaker for me and most people who enjoy good racing games. In this day and age of decent Q&A, games shouldn't be released with this type of bugginess.

Cars handle like butter on a hot pan, slipping and sliding all over the track. Is this adjustable via car customization? NO! What is this, Grand Turismo? Or just about every other good racing game that's out there right now? Nope, this is Grid. And you're supposed to just accept that Porsche that slides all over the road like a greased piglet at a county fair slipping through your fingers. Drive assists are somewhat of a misnomer. Even though I turned them all on, it made my driving experience only mildly better.

Spinouts are legendary. The instant your tire goes off the road, you can expect to do an almost perfect donut that will move you from first place to last. And while the crashes and car damage feel great, this overindulgent physic totally destroys any semblance of a good racing game so as to make it unplayable. Once you get tapped a few times resulting in total spinouts, you will dismiss this game for good.

Pair this problem with aggressive AI and it's a recipe for disaster. See, if you try to run an opposing driver off the road, you will fail. More than likely, your own car will spin out, defying physics so drastically that you'll want to throw your controller through the screen. After this happens half a dozen times, you will lose all faith in this game. For Grid tries to mimic the driving and crash physics of a simulation game, while straddling the joy of arcade speed. And it just can't do it, I'm afraid.

There is an annoying Replay option called Flashback. I don't understand how it's supposed to work. The controls for it are cryptic and unintuitive. And I didn't get a manual with my copy of Grid, since I Gameflied it, nor do I think any great game should need a manual. If the game itself cannot explain how to use its features, it's an epic fail right out of the gate. As for a racing game that allows Flashback, I don't think that's the point of a racing game. In true racing, there are no do-overs in the middle of a race. That's just plain cheating! It defies the very nature of a racing game and totally trashes the experience.

Grid has a difficulty level that needs some serious adjustment. If you're new to racing games, this is no place to start. Even on the easy settings, races are challenging for seasoned racers. Difficulty ramps up way too quickly for the average gamer to keep up or enjoy. Experienced racers will be unenthusiastic about how easy it is to spin out and lose winning races. In other words, this game misses the mark for pretty much everybody.

See, this is a great game that has been ruined by some overindulgent physics and asshole AI. When one spinout is race-ending, you're left feeling that this game really sucks.

Sifted: 7/10

7 for good graphics, camera work and menus. Unfortunately, this could have been a 9 or even 10 rating if the crash physics and AI were better.

Review: Portishead "Third"

2008-04-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

Portishead is back, and they haven't lost any of their old wickedness. In fact, like fine wine, their skillz have grown and matured, without losing their essence.

Hear it for yourself. Here is a link to a stream of the album, which will go into release next week (April 29th, 2008).

The first time I heard Portishead, I fell in love with Beth Gibbons' dirge-like torch singing. Fortunately, the formula they have used in the past has not changed enough to ruin this new album. It's hot. If there's an album I will actually buy all year, it's this one. And while I could provide a torrent, I won't, because this music is actually worth buying.

NSFW - LAST CALL VIDEO

2008-04-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

This shit is hilarious. Watch the audio *Explicit Lyrics*

I kept thinking about the bar scene in Top Gun while I was watching this, thinking how much funnier it would be if they had sang her this song instead.

Always Tip Your Dry Cleaner

2008-04-08T21:35:00.000-07:00

Karma

Linksys WGA600N - Epic Trouble

2008-04-08T15:08:00.001-07:00

I bought this router because I wanted to speed up my Xbox 360 Live playing of one of my favorite games - Call of Duty 4.

It has several problems:

1. To install, you need to call Technical Support. The installation disk is completely useless. You may as well shoot yourself in the head if you expect it to work outside of the box.

2. Every operator I've spoken with at Linksys was probably born in Asia. This is not a bad thing, but expect some heavy accents and peculiarly spotty connections when you call them. Also, they don't seem to pay much attention to your actual problem. Expect to be on hold for random periods of between 5 and 15 minutes while the Technician reads manga or the Bollywood Informer. Plan on being on hold 2-7 times.

3. There is no such thing as Plug and Play when it comes to things like this. You will submit.

4. Once you get it hooked up, it will probably fail the XBox Live Network Tests. Not to worry, for some reason, it will sign you in just fine. Gameplay is vastly improved, but good luck having Tech Support get your Network Tests to work. It will fail DNS. It will fail MTU. It will fail ICMP. There will be no explanation as to why. This simply is.

5. Linksys will tell you to call Xbox, which will tell you to call Linksys. Linksys will tell you to call Xbox again. 15% of the time, Linksys will tell you to call D-link (your router company). D-link will tell you Linksys is high. Linksys will tell you they teabagged D-Link's girlfriend. Xbox will snicker wickedly in the corner.

5. If you want it to connect in the N signal (which is way faster than the typical G signal), good luck, you snivelling moron. You will submit to playing in the G signal. Submit ... bitch! Submit!

6. You will gain a level in Networking & Communications, making you a 9th level War Driver with a + 3 laptop and a magic Headset of Achiness.

Iowa Caucuses???

2008-01-04T01:32:00.000-08:00

So is it just me, or is anyone else bothered by the fact that Iowa has the power to determine our future? Since when is Iowa a decent litmus test? Why put so much burden on a state of nimwits?

Bring on the computer voting and make it traceable and secure. Hell, put a voting booth in every ATM!

I just wish WE had the power to choose our candidates, not some po-dunk state that crowns the bible belt.

Film: Eastern Promises

2008-01-03T13:23:00.000-08:00

So, we sit down to check out the latest Viggo Mortenson flick, Eastern Promises. We're sitting there, pleasantly watching -- me, my fiance, her dad, and his Ukrainian wife. We're thinking: hey, it's about the Russian Mafia, so it'll be a good watch and the Ukrainian will be able to enjoy it (incidentally, she figured out the plot before any of us native English speakers did. She's hella smart).

Within 30 minutes, we're assaulted by a glorious vision of fingers being cut off at the bone, bloody afterbirth (including a near cutting of the cord), a throat being slit, and Viggo going to town on a Russian whore.

I'm no prude, but really, was any of that necessary?

Why is it that whenever my in-laws are in town we end up renting the most morbid, twisted, sick movies available at the Videorama? Hey, my fiancé picked it!

It was actually a good flick, with just enough action to keep the dudes intrigued, and enough sexual tension to keep it within the chick flick realm. Viggo sure likes ultra-violence, even in his romantic movies....

----------------
Now playing: Earworm - Funky Goes To Hollywood (Wild Cherry vs. Frankie Goes To Hollywood)
via FoxyTunes

Letting the domain name die

2007-12-17T18:05:00.000-08:00

Just got notice from Yahoo that the Propagandasifter.com domain is about to expire. I just haven't had the inclination to continue blogging lately. Too much time playing Call of Duty 4, Mass Effect, and The Orange Box on Xbox 360. So, henceforth, you can find entries here at propagandasifter.blogspot.com. That is, whenever I decide to start blogging again....

----------------
Now playing: Radiohead - Where I End and You Begin (The Sky Is Falling In)
via FoxyTunes

Larry Craig Fucked Me In The Ass!!!

2007-10-26T12:14:00.001-07:00

Oh, the humanity.

[Bear Witness Comes Forward]

CIA Plane Crashes in Yucatan (with 3.3 tons of cocaine on board)

2007-09-29T12:25:00.000-07:00

Sounds awfully fishy to me.

[CIA Plane Crash]

If YouTube Comments Were Real (NSFW)

2007-09-19T14:29:00.001-07:00

Turn down your volume if you're at work. Pretty bad language, but funny as $&#%&!

Miss South Carolina's Pageant Answer

2007-08-26T00:13:00.001-07:00

Insanely Crowded Japanese Wave Pool

2007-08-15T12:12:00.000-07:00

How would you like to be a lifeguard at this place?
I'm seriously astonished how more people don't drown, sue the place and close it down permanently.

Video: Man Beats Children

2007-08-12T14:27:00.001-07:00

Kinda funny.

[Father Sons Ninja Battle]

Haiti UFO Video

2007-08-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

This gave me the creeps.

EXTREME!!!!

2007-08-05T13:05:00.001-07:00

Iron Man, Starring Rober Downey Jr.

2007-07-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

Direct from Comic Con.

I don't even like Iron Man. But this looks really exceptional.

Some Drudgereport Propaganda

2007-07-29T21:29:00.001-07:00

Just thought I'd share this ludicrous link I found on Drudge.

I'm curious. Who the hell did they poll for this piece of farce?

They obviously didn't ask any real red-blooded Americans.

A New Kind of Movie Intro

2007-07-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

If only....

Which Plane Seat is Best for Surviving a Crash?

2007-07-19T18:14:00.001-07:00

It looks like the research has finally been done and the conclusion is: sit near the back of the plane.

[Popular Mechanics]

Crazy Japanese Commercial (nsfw)

2007-07-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

Cats are Democrats, Dogs are Republicans

2007-07-06T15:29:00.000-07:00

Funny cartoon [here].

A Bad-Ass Dog

2007-07-06T15:25:00.000-07:00

It'll make YOU fetch.

[Schwarzenndoggie]

Daft Dance

2007-07-05T04:23:00.000-07:00

Bust Portland

2007-06-30T15:05:00.001-07:00

Light Graffiti

2007-06-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Some very nice stuff at this flickr gallery.

[photo slideshow]

Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry On Their Own

2007-06-27T14:21:00.001-07:00

One of my least favorite Wino songs. Still, the video is noteworthy and she's always fun to listen to.

Dramatic Chipmunk - Sparta Remix

2007-06-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is mad stupid.

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

2007-06-23T16:33:00.000-07:00

This is just bizarre.

The Fall of America - Immigration Raids

2007-06-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

Cruelty to families knows no bounds in the Bush Administration, apparently. Why deport working aliens who have been here for many, many years, often with an established family? This only causes hardship for the kind, hard-working immigrants who really want to benefit America as future citizens. The government needs to acknowledge that they collect plenty of tax monies from illegal aliens. These people often contribute their taxes just like the rest of us, often at the cost of their own future economic stability, because they are unlikely to ever collect on the social security benefits they have earned.

Of course, violent criminal aliens don't belong here. But how can the government justify sending away 120+ men who were not here because of ignored visas and "attempted murder" charges. Isn't a sudden deportation of a person to another country (where many aliens have lived fewer years, at this point) a bit criminal? Isn't that a form of attempted murder of another human being? Does that not damage a family?

When did America become a nation of assholes? Because humane individuals don't goad on such disgusting, political antics. Only a nation of sociopaths could be so brutal to women and children.

The name of the linked article is "Scores arrested in California immigration raids". I would change the title to: "175 people arrested in California immigration kidnappings".

[Scores arrested in California immigration raids]

Theremin version of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy"

2007-06-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

This is way cool.

Video: Opera Singer Part II

2007-06-21T16:34:00.001-07:00

Here's that Brittish Opera singer performing in the semi-finals of Britain Has Talent.

And here's the final.

Video: Dramatic Chipmunk

2007-06-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

ZOMG!

Flute Hero

2007-06-14T18:58:00.001-07:00

Okay, so you've heard of Guitar Hero. Now try doing it with a flute. Much more difficult than it sounds. By the way, the game is in a foreign language. To play, use your ten number buttons. Press the button labeled Nyt Spil to start.

[Flute Hero]

Unexpected Opera Master

2007-06-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hitler Banned from XBox Live (nsfw)

2007-06-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

On Vacation Thru June 9th

2007-06-02T23:49:00.000-07:00

Going to Hawaii (again). This time heading to Honolulu Monday - Saturday. Chance of blogging while I'm there: slim. Please pay us a visit in mid-June, or better yet, subscribe to email updates --->

Mahalo.

LOLCats Meets Craigslist

2007-06-01T14:39:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious.

[LOL:craigslist]

History We Weren't Taught in School

2007-06-01T14:13:00.001-07:00

Real US Foreign Policy.

[America and the World]

Are We Living in a Kakistocracy?

2007-06-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

Christie over at Life at the condo was watching the National Spelling Bee when the word Kakistocracy came up. I think she may be onto something here....

Paula Abdul Gets Tipsy on TV Again

2007-06-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so maybe she wasn't drunk. Maybe it was pain meds for her broken nose. Regardless, one would think her publicist would be bright enough to keep her away from cameras when she's looking all ~~Courtney Loved~~ intoxicated.

[Paula Abdul Falls Off the Wagon]

Kevorkian Freed

2007-06-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

After 8 long years in prison, Dr. Death is back! He has long been a personal hero of mine. Hopefully he'll use his superpowers against our administration.

[Kevorkian Out of Prison After 8 Years]

Support the Troops

2007-05-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

Indeed....

100 Words Every High School Grad Should Know

2007-05-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

This list is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I have a Master's Degree in English and even I don't know some of these words. Methinks the Editors of the American Heritage Dictionaries are suffering from a case of inflated ego. A few of the words:

abjure
abrogate
abstemious
bowdlerize
expurgate
jejune
lugubrious
moiety
obsequious
orthography
pecuniary
unctuous

Honestly, I've gone through 35 years of living and never even heard these words used in conversation. More importantly, they are rarely used in writing as well. Why on earth would I bother wasting several Megabytes of brain capacity learning to use archaic words that are worthless in day-to-day usage? To display "linguistic superiority" over others? Only a silly dictionary editor could come up with this crap.

As a former Technical Writer, I think it's more important to stress how to use language simply. Tossing vocabulary at people is merely confusing for most of the population and leads to problems and lack of communication, especially when writing instructions or directions for people who speak English as a second language. Proposing words like this is nothing short of ignorant.

[100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know]

Secret Celebrity Scientologists

2007-05-30T11:06:00.001-07:00

Cracked.com has a list of secret celebrity Scientologists. You will be surprised.

[The Top 10 Secret Celebrity Scientologists]

Charles Nelson Reilly R.I.P. (1931 -2007)

2007-05-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

This old queen gets props for being featured in a Dead Milkmen song.

I'm Into Clippy... nsfw

2007-05-30T10:33:00.001-07:00

Microsoft Word's "Clippy" makes him hot.

[More Phonesex Pranks]

Mark Twain's "War Prayer"

2007-05-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

Over at the Daily KOS, they have a copy of Mark Twain's "War Prayer"

Mark Twain kicked ass and took names.

Chairman Mao Lookalike

2007-05-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

This is just creepy. Even moreso when you realize it's a woman.

[Chairman Mao Lookalike]

Celebrity Fit Club Gets All Violent - nsfw

2007-05-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

I'd like to see Screech get his beat-down for rolling that little dude from Welcome Back Kotter a few years back. Karma is a bizzle.

Video: UFC: Liddel vs. Rampage UFC 71

2007-05-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

For all you MMA junkies, check out Liddel vs. Rampage: UFC 71.

Video: Tokyo Conveyor Belt Sushi

2007-05-26T01:12:00.000-07:00

This is one of the best ideas ever. Go into a conveyor belt sushi place and put your camera on the track. This being Tokyo, no one bothered to steal it.

This type of long shot would be great as an opening sequence for a movie. It's almost surreal as each face is captured in perfect focus by the camera, as it travels into the kitchen, and finally back out again.

11-year-old Bags Gargantuan Hog

2007-05-25T17:32:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable.

[Wild Hog article]

Dude Tests Tazer ... On Himself!

2007-05-24T19:54:00.000-07:00

Dumb-ass.

[Bitch**SlaPP dot com]

Why is His Microwave Hot?

2007-05-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

This is why it's hot. Keep an eye out for a crunk appearance by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[Microwave Hotness]

Review of New Frank Black Album - Blue Finger

2007-05-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

First off, thanks to Todd for hooking us up with the new Frank Black album, Blue Finger. We love us some Frank Black and, before his solo sucksess, we worshipped at the altar of The Pixies with devotion. I've always loved Frank Black's lyrics and energy. Blue Finger certainly doesn't lack his trademark lyrical insanity or guttural punk yelping.

But the question I keep asking myself is: has the great Black Francis lost his touch, or has his sound just grown tiresome? I think it's the latter, really. There's nothing really cutting-edge here, which isn't really a bad thing. But it's not a good thing, either. Despite the lack of Pixies lushness on most of these tracks, Frank solo still rocks pretty hard, and the lyrics are as cryptic as ever. There's just something ... missing.

What's lacking from Frank Black hitting it big with all these albums he's released over the years? I mean, the formula is the same for what he produces on his own and what he puts out with The Pixies. I've come to the conclusion that it's the chemistry of Kim Deal's back-up vocals that are lacking, really. Kim Deal added a soothing layer (a near-mantra of chorus) to Frank's quirky screeching, and I think he's starting to realize this, as he has notable female back-ups on many of these songs ("Lolita," my favorite on the album does it well, while "You Can't Break a Heart and Have It" falls into its own ambitious punkishness with a flop). Nevertheless, the female back-up doesn't make a good enough impression when executed correctly to push things over the edge into the 5-star Ipod zone.

Joey Santiago's skilled guitarism's are also missing from the equation. During The Pixies reunion tour, it was very evident during an incredible guitar solo just how influential Joey's sound is to the band. And even if Frank manages to get a good female back-up singer, I think he might be dead in the water without an actual Joey on guitar. For a prime example of how this hurts his sound, give "She Took All the Money" a spin. Now, imagine what this song would sound like with Joey on guitar.... Whole different animal.

These songs are conceptually great. I would like to see what The Pixies could do with these songs if they all worked on these pieces together, as there is a notable lack of detail to some of the songs (most notably, "Your Mouth Into Mine"). "Blue Finger" seems to be cryptically prescient when Frank belts out "If my choices are poor, I made them, I made them. And who's knocking on my door, I paid them. I paid them!"

Frank needs to dust off his ego and cement the dominance of The Pixies, once and for all. Doing otherwise only dooms his poetry to obscurity, and that's the opposite of what the world could use.

Sifted: 6.5/10

Battle of the Dorks: American Idol Winner is...

2007-05-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

Jordin Sparks.

Tonight was more than mildly entertaining.

First off, Kelly Clarkson should stick to gowns, not wear halter-tops and low-rise hip-huggers that showcase her muffin top. Jenny Craig or cocaine. Pick one.

Jordin Sparks won, as it should be. The girl has pipes, and considering she's only 17, I expect we'll be seeing a lot of her. She's so endearing and annoying at the same time, kind of like a younger sister.

What seemed peculiar about the show was how Britney Spears was a no-show. God knows, we watched the entire show in dire expectation that she would make a ~~puke-worthy performance~~ "grand" appearance.

Speaking of "grand appearances," what was up with that ~~Slick Rick~~ Dougie Fresh/Blake joint? That was actually noteworthy and left us wondering: WHY THE HELL DIDN'T HE DO THAT LAST NIGHT?!?!?

We're pissed off because the show ran long and our DVR ended a full 5 minutes before they announced the winner. WTF? That's just not cool, FOX. Think of the millions of people who came home to watch your bogus show only to be disappointed by your lack of premature congratulations. End on time, dammit!

Fatty Gets a Suck Job

2007-05-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

You dirty-minded pervert.

Cat that Eats with a Fork

2007-05-23T16:45:00.001-07:00

Something tells me the cat could care less about Tiger Woods.

The Hood Internet

2007-05-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

Excellent site for music mash-ups. You can listen or download with just a few clicks.

[The Hood Internet]

Why Kucinich Can't Win

2007-05-23T12:34:00.001-07:00

Face it, Kucinich has a HOT wife.

She's Lord of the Rings princess of the Elves, Galadriel, hot.

Meanwhile, Kuciznitch himself looks like Gollum on red bull.

He'd be the first president to die in office from a Viagra overdose.

Animal Battle Royal

2007-05-22T17:10:00.000-07:00

This is better than Animal Planet!

Waterboarding

2007-05-22T02:00:00.001-07:00

No, it's not a sport, unless you're participating in the Sadistic Olympics.

Since when is torture allowed by the Geneva Convention? Er, do we even follow the Geneva Convention anymore?

Passive-Aggresive Notes

2007-05-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

This reminds me of the long treatise on proper bathroom etiquette at my former job. Someone felt the need to explain how to use a plunger. Oy.

[Passive-Aggressive Notes from ...]

Operating Notes for Dispensing Machine

2007-05-21T15:44:00.001-07:00

Classic.

[Operating Notes for Dispensing Machine]

Finishing Moves Def Jam Icon Missed

2007-05-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

It's simple enough to look at a game and see what's good about it, but on a recent gaming session with Def Jam: Icon, I found myself wondering what was missing, and why.

Why can't I pull my opponents jewelry right off his neck? I mean, if you're giving your adversary a major whoop-ass, shouldn't you be able to diss a bitch by ripping off his tin?
Why can't I pull my shirt off and flex? I should be able to lift my arms and flaunt my armpit deodorant, ala LL Cool J on MTV's Unplugged.
Why can't a hard punch knock somebody's grill straight out they mouf?
Shouldn't I have a dance of victory after I'm done rollin' somebody?
No homies to have my back? Even my boo ain't there to cheer me on?
If you can beat me to a bloody pulp, why doesn't that ruin my fly gear? Why don't that shit spill on the floor? Cuz I'm bad-ass, that's why.
If I can attack somebody with the sound coming out the stereo speakers, why can't I cause them to have a burst eardrum, or something novel like making them pee or puke themselves?
No weapons?
Rap without gunfights is like Disneyland without Goofy.
What, no nappy-headed hos or stripper sluts to cheer me on after I lay the smackdown?

Isn't it a little bizarre that a fighting game can be made so sanitized and just plain boring? I mean, I can beat somebody until they're literally black and blue, but I can't have my character smoke a blizzle with my adversary after we're done with our fisticuffs? Talk about boring. I'm surprised the cops didn't show up to break up all these stupid confrontations. Clearly, that's what's needed in Def Jam: Icon II. Puhleeze.

Don't hate. Just keepin' it real.

Neuromancer Coming to the Big Screen

2007-05-20T19:38:00.001-07:00

William Gibson's seminal sci-fi classic, Neuromancer, is finally going to be made into a film. I somehow doubt it will be any good, but at least someone will try to make that grand vision a reality. Now if only they could get Ridley Scott (of Blade Runner fame) to direct it!

[Neuromancer to be made into movie]

Cthulhu for President - 2008

2007-05-20T10:57:00.001-07:00

He's got my vote.

Bizarre, Creepy Rabbit Animation

2007-05-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

Too strange!

What the hell?

2007-05-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know whence this hell spawn of a video came from, but it's kinda catchy, if you like dentist drills, that is.

Imax 3D

2007-05-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

Apparently, when you see a movie in Imax 3D, it makes boobs bigger.

[Harry Potter Sexified by Imax 3D]

Spider Ear

2007-05-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

Why doesn't it surprise me that this happened in Oregon?

What Does $456 Billion Buy?

2007-05-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

Things your government could have bought you instead of tossing the cash at Iraq.

[What does $456 Billion Buy?]

David Blaine Parody

2007-05-04T16:51:00.000-07:00

Check it out here.

DRM Group Vows to Fight Bloggers

2007-05-04T16:41:00.000-07:00

Talk about a bunch of morons. They already lost the battle before it's even gotten started! What, are they gonna go erase the entire internet in the hopes that no one will get their grubby hands on their precious numbers? Talk about stupid.

[Dumbass Article]

Clone Movies: Similar Movies Released Within a Year

2007-05-03T00:54:00.000-07:00

A must-read for movie lovers.

[Attack of the Clones: Suspiciously Similar Movie Showdown]

The Return of Absinthe -Now Legal in the US

2007-05-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

Expect this to be the trendy drink at the bar for the next decade. Lucid Absinthe now legal in the US. Available starting next month ($59.95 for 750 mL).

[Absinthe: The American Remix]

Lolcats meets Star Trek

2007-05-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

Tribbles.... This is pretty humorous.

[LolTrek]

Rage Against The Machine Thrashes Administration

2007-05-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

Rage never disappoints. Sunday's performance at Coachella had Rage calling for the treasonous death of the Bush Administration. Why can't every band be so passionate?

[Rage Against the Machine Rages at Coachella Music Festival]

Kucinich Rankles Opposing Dems at Debate

2007-04-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night where I wondered about the state of our politicians and why none of them have recently aligned themselves with the founding principals of our nation, of protecting the rights of citizens as put forth by the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. Aren't we supposed to vote for someone who represents us?

Christian Art Protest Results in Classy Comeback (NSFW)

2007-04-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

You'll want to turn your audio way down if you're at work. **Warning** Explicit Language.

Extreme Ping-Pong Pointage

2007-04-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

No words....

Extreme Bunny - NSFW

2007-04-20T15:50:00.000-07:00

My new favorite cartoon character. I think I'll have to get a tattoo of this guy!

Here's a link to the uncensored version. Beware. Highly Offensive and hella funny.

Creepy: Blogger Predicts V. Tech Shooting

2007-04-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

[The Copycat Effect]