The World's Largest Cadbury Egg

Check out Pimp That Snack and see how to make a big-ass Cadbury Egg. Man, if I'd gotten one of these when I was a kid, I wouldn't be alive now.

The First Annoying Vegan

Too funny.

[GeekCulture.com: The First Annoying Vegan]

TV: Bizzare Foods with Andrew Zimmern (TRVL)

I tuned into this show because Anthony Bourdain was on the other night (I missed that show, unfortunately). This week's episode was in Morocco as the host, Andrew Zimmern, made his way across the country filling his fat American maw with a number of disgusting meats. I'm no vegetarian, but after watching Andrew snarf down a goat eye, I am seriously considering it.

This guy makes Anthony Bourdain's show look tame, but I suppose that's gonna happen, considering how Bourdain's show really focuses on the places he visits, while Bizzare Foods seems to be about finding the grossest food around the world. It reminds me of the Crocodile Hunter, but for culture and food, not animal conservation.

Mmm. Lamb's Head, Pigeon Pie and Stingray.... Andrew certainly has a talented for descriptions, saying this about Goat Cous Cous: "It's not so much that you can taste the hay and straw in the flesh itself, but if you close your eyes I think you can."

Bizarre Foods is on the Travel Channel at 6PM and 9PM on Monday nights. Don't say we didn't warn you.

A Guide to the Best Chocolates

With Valentine's Day next week, this article is very useful. I learned the trick a long time ago: if you buy them chocolate, you get to eat half of them yourself!

[NPR: A Bittersweet Guide to the Best V-Day Chocolate]

Big Pic of North Portland Fred Meyer

I Just came across this photo on the internet and thought it was very cool. I know those columns in the soda pop aisle quite intimately. I've even named them: Mofo (on the north side) and Biznatch (further in, near the Squirt and the Prune juice). Considering how often I'm there, I'm surprised I'm not in the picture! Click the link below to have a look at the complete photo. Patience, it might take a minute to download. Pic to the right features a capture of Mofo, my arch nemesis.

[North Portland Fred Meyer pic]

Warning: Boiled Omelet Fad Could Be Toxic.

A number of people have come forth recently with trendy new cooking methods using plastic sandwich bags. For example, you crack a couple of eggs, throw in some veggies, boil it all, and out comes an omelet.

Great idea for camping? Maybe not. It turns out this trick might be carcinogenic.

[Ziploc Omelets may be Toxic]

The Lard Wars: What the Trans-Fat ban is Really About

I desperately want to believe the recent ban on trans-fat in New York is due to government finally acquiring a moral compass. I want to believe the ban is due to that city government's concern for its citizens, that the people at the top really do care about our health.

Los Angeles is now considering a trans-fat ban.

Considering the nation's eventual move toward a national Health Plan, it makes complete sense to force a ban on people now. After all, it's okay for you to have a triple bypass when you (or your insurance) are paying for it. But once everyone has a government health plan, guess who benefits from keeping medical costs low?

Maybe I'm just cynical, but here's my timeline of what will eventually take place in The Lard Wars:

• 2007 - 2012: National ban on trans-fat. Warning labels required on food. ID required to purchase Hagen Daz. If someone wants to eat tasty Onion rings, they'll have to buy them in Puerto Vallarta, or Toronto. You can buy them on the Internet, from a dealer in the Philippines, provided you can afford enough Internet access to endure the 10-minute long order process. As a patriotic American, you will be expected to tolerate fried cardboard. "Don't worry, it tastes better with imitation salt and sugar-free, soy ketchup."

• 2008 - 2015: "Unhealthy Food Tax" implemented on all "junk foods." White bread is now considered taboo to eat in public. People who eat sandwiches on white bread with mayonnaise or cheese are referred to as Whiteheads. Can't afford Micky-D's? Well, French Fries are a luxury for the haves, so be thankful you can buy them on payday, when you can afford to splurge a little; don't complain! By now, you usually eat at the Broccoli barn (where there will be no real Velveeta, incidentally) and you like it, because the other option is incarceration.
  
  
• 2009-2015: Universal National Health Care Plan "... for the children," (who will inevitably breed their own back-alley Crisco dealing gangs). 2018: First Trans-Fat related murder, as victim gets shot down in robbery of black-market candybars.
  

• 2010 - 2018: Ban gradually relaxed for the wealthy. If you can afford your own medical procedures, you won't need to pay penalties for extra-tasty foods. If you're on The Plan, you'll be incarcerated for owning a deep-fryer or "suspicious" oils. Thanks to the old Patriot Act, grandma got raided last week. She's in jail for "Trans Paraphernalia," whatever that means....

• 2013: Government-funded Public Service Announcement. "Where did you learn about frying Potatoes in animal fat, Johnny?" "I learned it from watching you, dad, I learned it from watching you!!!"

• 2020: Scientists run new chemical analysis proving long-held hypothesis that Trans-Fat is actually good for you.
  

What Does 200 Calories Look Like?

Aside from the blatant grammatical error in the title of the site, it's actually quite informative. Great for all you resolution gut busters.

[What Does 200 Calories Look Like?]

Website: Healing Food Reference

This is quite possibly the most useful website I've ever run across in the entirety of my existence. Yes, I mean it.

[Healing Food Reference.com]

Video: Discover Foie Gras

I'm no vegetarian, and I have to confess I've often wondered how foie gras tastes. I doubt I'll be eating it anytime soon. But I wonder if there's some way to produce it that is more humane?

Warning: You might find this video disturbing.

RollerToaster

Now you can press your hair and have breakfast at the same time! Featured on Engadget.

"What's for breakfast?"

"Not bagels."

Seasoned Ammo

I'm sure dead chefs are turning over in their grave. Shoot your bird and season it instantly with season shot. Too bad it doesn't cook the pray on contact!

VS Battle: Hell's Kitchen vs. Top Chef

VS

In this week's VS. Battle we have two Reality TV giants: Hell's Kitchen in one corner and Top Chef in the other. Since Top Chef debuted last week on Bravo, it's time to bring this post back and remix it.

Like all Reality TV shows, each of these programs have positive and negative traits that make them variably appealing to different types of viewers. The real question is: which is better?

Hell's Kitchen (FOX) pits aspiring chefs against each other as they try to run a restaurant, all while being chastised and berated by master chef, Gordon Ramsay. Ramsay is nothing short of foul in his method of hurling insults, sometimes referring to chefs as "fat pigs" and "donkeys." He is nothing less than obnoxious, rude, cheauvanistic, pompous, arrogant and downright cruel. He does everything in his power to give Brits a bad name. Unfortunately, Ramsay's petulant tirades are one of the show's more appealing aspects, because Hell's Kitchen certainly doesn't do anything to showcase the food or the skills of the competitors. In the end, the winner is not the best cook of the bunch, but the most capable of taking abuse while prepping kitchen service. If the aspiring chefs on this show are taught anything about food, the viewers rarely see it. Sadly, the sole judging by Chef Ramsay leaves a lot to be desired, opening various opportunities for favoritism or worse, personal prejudism.

Problem:

• Challenges don't really change from week to week. The chefs merely engage in cooking for Hell's Kitchen, angering patrons, getting yelled at by Chef Ramsay, then being punished for their poor performance when they lose, or being inadequately rewarded when they win. This makes for tedious television after week four, when Ramsay's insults start falling on the deaf ears of everyone, including the competitors.
• This show seems to be pandering to the lowest common denominator. The sad thing is that Hell's Kitchen could easily be reproduced in any industry. All it takes is someone with a big mouth and 20 people willing to take his crap.
  

Top Chef (Bravo), on the other hand, features chefs of considerable skill and budding talent cooking their own dishes. This season's opener has thrown down the gauntlet. These people know how to cook! The focus here is the food, not the egotistical rantings of a solitary judge on a quest for better book sales. In fact, the presence of multiple judges makes for a more egalitarian selection when it comes to winners and losers. Where Hell's Kitchen is like a vile dictatorship, Top Chef is run like a true republic. When someone wins this show, they truly deserve it on the basis of their cooking talent. Challenges change from week to week, so by the end of the program, the viewer has been treated to seeing a cook's true repertoire. But the lack of a power-mongering troll on Top Chef doesn't take away from the dramatic flair or conflict here; in fact, this show is ten times more anxiety-inducing than Hell's Kitchen because of the spicy interrelationships of the competitors. Perhaps most importantly, this show is educational. Viewers are treated to looking at food in an entirely new way: namely, from the perspective of an educated consumer, or foodie. The sophisticated things being done with food will make you want to sign up at the nearby Cordon Bleu school.

Problem:

• Being on Bravo places this show in an unfortunate cable ghetto. One of the large networks needs to buy this one and put it on Primetime fast; clearly, Top Chef is better than most of the fodder that the networks have there currently.
• Watching Top Chef will make your mouth water. A viewer is repeatedly stricken with remorse as the show features demi-glazed lamb shanks or black truffles. Definitely watch this one after you've eaten your Big Mac and fries. Here's a link to this week's winning recipe! How cool is that?!?!
  

Winner: Top Chef

Taco ToWn!

Sounds yummy!

TV: Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (BBC)

Now that Hell's Kitchen is over, you can still get your Gordon Ramsay fix by watching Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (BBC). This show is one of my new favorites. Unlike Hell's Kitchen, Ramsay is much more sedate as he helps troubled restaurants in England to get back 0n their feet. His attitude is still excessive and abusive, but this show is tremendously addictive and a far-cry from the histrionics that are Hell's Kitchen. Ramsay's advice is solid and you get a genuine feel for how restaurants succeed or fail. This is definitely one to watch.