Showing posts with label war. Show all posts
Showing posts with label war. Show all posts

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Review: Far Cry 2 (XBox 360)

Wow, I've never seen such a beautiful game marred by sluggish controls and generally bad gameplay.

You play as a mercenary in an African country on the brink of civil unrest. Your mission: find the person arming both sides in the conflict--aka The Jackal--and eliminate him.

Ubisoft went out of their way to give Far Cry 2 a lush landscape, full of captivating imagery, a massive, open gameworld, and incredible audio. Problem is: it's a hot mess.

First of all, the gameplay is frustrating. Ubisoft pulled out all the stops and wanted to give us a massive gaming world to play through. Unfortunately, this is what gets in the way of enjoying the campaign! You are given missions that are usually on the other side of the map. And the map is huge, mind you. We're talking miles. Each mission seems to relish in sending us on a 5-10 minute trek just to get to the mission! And that's not the most irksome part! There are armed guards and patrols that come at you relentlessly. So by the time you actually get to the mission, you may be running low on ammo, and/or injured and low on health packs. And there is no way to simply jump around to the next mission. Yes, there is a bus you can take to four other points on the map, but those points are usually just as far, since they're positioned near the four corners of the map! Who's the idiot who came up with that concept? Fire him or her at once. For even clearing a guard station will not aid you next time you need to cross that path because the armed guards simply respawn over time. Ack.

Fun, Quick Gunplay? NO.
We are given several character choices at the start. Refreshing. But there's no real relevance regarding who you choose because this is a first person shooter anyway. In other words, you won't see yourself, so who cares who you choose? Cool, yes. Required? No. Important in the game? No. Big waste of time? Yes.

And despite the spoiler, I'm gonna tell you anyway: you start the game with malaria. So all the cool things you would like to do will cause you to die, like oh, running and jumping. I swear, this is becoming more and more like a bad relationship. Far Cry 2 is like being able to date a supermodel who never lets you touch her. Beautiful, sophisticated, but a little shallow and ultimately frustrating.

There are a number of side missions you can choose to pursue, along with missions you are forced to perform in order to acquire medicine. Because if you run out of malaria pills, you're likely to drop dead in the middle of a firefight. So hey, if you don't want to pursue those missions, you're free not to. But how much fun will you have when you're dropping dead in the middle of a mission? In other words, these are forced missions, veiled as not. Yeah, there's a beautiful open world to play in here, but having malaria is like being put on a short leash. Or like being forced to stay in your hotel room during your vacation, with diarrhea, on beach day.

There are some excellent points in the game, like being able to sneak up on someone with a machete (a gloriously missed opportunity to throw in some cinematic murder cutscenes ala Manhunt). Alas, no. We're left with a largely unwieldy mess that often times doesn't drop an opponent and leaves them calling their buddies for help. Other times, it seems like you've dropped someone with a tap that wouldn't hassle a fly.

Several times I was sent on missions to eliminate certain individuals in a no-gun zone. I used my machete. And suddenly half the town starts shooting at me! Even though no one witnessed the killing. It's just unfair and unpolished.

Throw in some cliche monkey bullshit diamond case collecting and I'm about to chuck this one out the DVD Drive.

But it's so pretty. I just can't bring myself to do it. It's like a love affair with low-grade Crystal Meth. You know it sucks. You know it's rotten. But you're chasing the dragon.And for what? Another diamond case with its huge solitary diamond that inches you closer to being able to buy an AK-47. Though everyone knows a diamond that big would buy you the entire country in a heartbeat. Just 6 more cases to locate via GPS until I can buy an AK! Bullshit.

Audio is something rarely noticed in gaming. A good soundtrack stands out. A bad soundtrack stands out like a sore thumb. I usually turn off the game music and stream my own tunes via my computer. This proved a challenge in this game, however. Boat engine noise would drown out anything I was listening to while I traveled downriver to my next distant mission. At other times, that same music would be too loud. Ugh. And there are no sound effect settings. So while characters converse in whispers, bullets and explosions are overbearing. And nothing sounds right. People who are fifty feet away sound like they're having a conversation right next to you. The sounds of the jungle seem to convincingly harbor wild animals stampeding beside you in the brush, but when you look they're farther than you can throw a football pass. The sound in this game is simply atrocious.

Driving is tedious. And looking at a map while driving doesn't seem to be a good option. For some reason, a gentle nudge with the right thumbstick would make me crane my neck as if I were having a stroke. Nothing some simple QA couldn't fix. It's a shame the game was shipped this way.

Everything else seems adequate. I am left feeling like Far Cry 2 dropped the ball miserably. I didn't even bother with the multiplayer. Simply because I could already tell the controls would be too frustrating. Aiming shouldn't be a chore in a video game. And when sending me on missions that span through 20 miles of jungle filled with omniscient guards, I'm sick and tired of it after the 4th mission or so. Nevermind the other 20.

I was left feeling like this was a game that could have just never been made. There was no real innovation here. The controls sucked, and ultimately, all this does is showcase Ubisoft's ability to make a pretty-looking jungle.

Sifted: 6.5 out of 10

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Support the Troops



Indeed....

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Mark Twain's "War Prayer"

Over at the Daily KOS, they have a copy of Mark Twain's "War Prayer"

Mark Twain kicked ass and took names.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Animal Battle Royal

This is better than Animal Planet!

Friday, March 09, 2007

What the Death of Captain America Really Means

The death of Captain America was all over the news yesterday, but no one seemed to indicate the real meaning behind his death. The media was quick to show it as some sort of negative, unamerican, liberal plot device. They mixed it up as some sort of contrived "America-hater" conspiracy.

But Captain America's death actually signified the opposite.

See, toward the end of the Marvel Civil War series, Captain America had become a sort of liberal ideologue and leader of a resistance force of superheroes (the Secret Avengers) that were opposed to Iron Man and his Republican/fascist/Bush-like cronies. Captain America was leading a revolt against a Patriot-Act-like law requiring all heroes to register and identify themselves to the government. Captain America was not representing a conservative, republican morality toward the end of his life, but standing for the old, liberal ideals of freedom and equality. It's not so ironic that Captain America was assassinated by a sniper's bullet, reminiscent of the death of JFK, MLK, and Robert Kennedy.

His death was a political hit, most likely financed by the uber-wealthy, republican Iron Man and his grunts. And his death symbolizes what is happening to America today at the hands of the Republican party.

In essence, the death of Captain America is symbolic of the death of the old America we grew up knowing and loving.

Read the Premise for Marvel Comic's Civil War on Wikipedia for more background.

[MSNBC: Death to 'America']

Monday, March 05, 2007

300 a Veiled Analogy About Bush?

Articles on the Drudgereport like this one really piss me off. It would seem the muck raker is trying to force the producers of the upcoming (March 9th) film, 300, to take a stance on the Iraq war, either pro or against. My biggest problem with it all is that sometimes, just sometimes, stories aren't really analogies for anything! 300 was obviously produced because of the success of Sin City, another Frank Miller masterpiece (that also wasn't some secretive plot against the Bush administration, mind you).

Why does this war film suddenly have to carry a deeper meaning, or to be a commentary on our modern lives? Because the main plot happens to be about war? It simply looks like a celebration of gore and battle cinematography. It doesn't need to be about anything else, really.

Does it?

Maybe, in fact, that's the entire point of the movie, for despite the success of the Spartan warriors to deflect the oncoming Persian army, the ultimate outcome is the same: Sparta fades away into a few paragraphs in our high school history books. Maybe that, in fact, is the point: for all the saber rattling, war is a waste of time, a sort of Superbowl before the invention of the proverbial football.

In other words, Matt Drudge, you're the messenger standing on the edge of the cavernous hole and those of us who actually think for ourselves are the guys kicking you down into it, all the while yelling "This is Sparta!" How's that for an analogy? Now go crawl under a rock and shaddap.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Bush Tries Another Fast One

Anyone with half a brain knows Bush's plan to increase troops in Iraq has nothing to do with Iraq at all. Why is Bush being so sneaky about it? It's obvious he's increasing numbers in Iraq to start another ill-conceived war--this time with Iran. Why not just come out and say it? So is this notion to increase troops in Iraq yet another lie to the American people?

Why should we take a chance?

Bring our people home, W! Fight a proxy war with Iran via Israel, if that's what gets your jollies. Better yet, have your friends in the oil industry fund it.

[Bush Pwned]

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Video: from Saddam Hussein's Execution

This isn't the entire video, just the preparation leading up to the actual hanging. Hell, even we aren't that ghoulish.

[Video: from Saddam Hussein's Execution]

Military Hand Signals

Ever wonder about those strange hand signals military forces make in movies? Well, this site has a few of them for our review. Hilarious!

[Unconventional Airsoft - Hand Signals]