TV: Painkiller Jane (SCI)

Time to embrace the suck. The Sci-Fi channel has been so busy gushing over this program that it was bound to be a disappointment. Kristanna Loken, though pretty, just doesn't have the wherewithal to be the ball buster her role demands. Her face is simply not expressive enough, so her acting was nowhere near superb, and her double-lazy-eye trick has already grown tiresome after the lame-ass pilot episode. Are you flirting with me or are you just tired?!?!

The story is formulaic as hell, with the typical tactical squad composed of the brute, the hacker, the nerdy doctor, and the boss. The black guy, who was supposed to be some sort of backup/support agent has already been killed off. How many ways can you say cliché? And none of these blokes has an ounce of a personality! With characters this boring, it's obvious this show won't make it to a second season. Hold off on buying that condo in Malibu, guys.

Last but not least, just how successful can a story be about a heroine with the powers to heal herself?

So she's indestructible. Big Freakin' Deal!

I would be more interested in a character who could spontaneously make burritos out of his own toe jam. What on earth could make these guys at the Sci-Fi channel grasp at so tenuous a straw? Seriously.

In a city with a thousand stories, why can't Hollywood find one that's even mildly entertaining anymore?