Review: Let the Right One In (2008)

Yes, it does make "Twilight" look amateurish.

from Wikipedia:

Directed by Tomas Alfredson, was released in 2008 to widespread critical acclaim. An English language remake, to be directed by Matt Reeves, is scheduled for release in 2010.

I suspect the English version will lose all the subtlety and play down the issues to make it more appealing to the masses, thereby destroying the story in its entirety. It's the timid, subtle cinematographic elements of this film that give it credence. When we look into Eli the vampire's eyes and see how oddly blue they are, even in the dark; when Oskar has a sublte face twitch, or his gaze fades, or he is admiring a classmate. I suspect any English translation will lose its charm, by virtue of us American's having the subtlety of Anne Coulter at a gay pride parade.

If you like morbid-type film, you need to see this movie now. I wouldn't rate it as a thriller or a horror movie, or even a romance; it's kind of all three rolled into one. And very much a movie to watch on a hot, midsummer sunday, when you're lingering on the couch and dreaming of the snow.

This film is ultimately subtle, rarely relying in the cliché special fx we see in typical vampire movies. And perhaps more impressively, it doesn't delve into the romance of being a vampire. Eli's existence is a lonely, solitary existence, for the most part. By virtue of her vampirism, perhaps out of an analogy of outward racism, she is dejected by society and forced to live in an apartment complex similar to the projects. When she meets Oskar, the film's protagonist, we see her standing triumphantly over a busted jungle gym. This is the theme of the film, in fact: to win out, despite your oddness.

The soundtrack was so subtle that I don't even remember there being one and I didn't miss it. That, in my opinion, is the definition of subtlety.

The cinematography was excellent. I noticed no problems with lighting or failed special fx, save during one instance: cats, is all I'm gonna say. You could tell their budget got stretched there, but it wasn't so jarring to cause any permanent damage to the integrity of the film.

This is a modern-day Romeo & Juliet. Oskar is beaten by school bullies, while Eli is subjected to a life of boredom in her apartment. Only by using each other's skills will they find a way out of their pitiful lives.

If this movie fails anywhere, it's in the slow, drawling, almost dream-like way this story is told. Perhaps it is this that reminds the viewer of their own adolescence. Nevertheless, there are times when camera lingers in a place we don't want to be for a touch too long, but that's part of the beauty. I really wanted to SEE the outcome of their spree and I was left feeling as if there was no final development.

There are places the director seemed to feel comfortable, while other places he did not (or could not show us--probably due to budget constraints). If the English translation could flush out these parts, it might be good. I think if they stick to the same point of view as this film, they will do well.

Somebody give THIS movie an Academy Award, please.

Sifted: 9.5/10

Review: The Wrestler (2008)

I'm not a hater. Mickey Rourke has had it tough, and there's nothing Hollywood loves more than a comeback, and The Wrestler is more than a worthy entry for movie of the year; not to mention, Rourke's performance is strong, nor does Marisa Tomei disappoint in her cliché role as a stripper with a good heart.

"But come on! It's a movie about Wrestling!" some people might say, and they would be right, but it's a film about so much more than that. This is a film about redemption and the sordid elements of a life lived to pursue a dream. Rourke's performance is spot-on and very touching.

The ultra-violence of the sport at times becomes laughable and it's horrifying that we can laugh at it, but the fact that it's all an illusion, however dangerous, makes it somehow less disturbing, even comedic. When Rourke steps backstage after his masterful performance, covered in blood, embedded by glass, thumbtacked back and all, he's met with applause and cheers from his co-performers and we're shown the ugly truth: that a man has damaged his life (and continues to do so) to create an illusion for us to enjoy. It's ultimately very sad and I left the movie feeling depressed.

There was a strong Christian subtext that bothered me. Rourke's character is compared to Jesus, undergoing bloody punishment like the Christ in The Passion. The end almost slides into blatant obviousness that comes just short of getting all church-preachy, off the top rope, hands extended all messianically. Hell, is that even a word?

Despite the obvious subtext, the movie is great. I just don't know if it's Movie of the Year good. I suspect The Curious Case of Benjamin Button will steal the win, simply because it's safer and more sanitized, much like Forrest Gump beat out Pulp Fiction. But time will vindicate this movie, for it's an instant classic reminiscent of Raging Bull. And while I don't forgive Rourke's douchebaggery from the 80's when he was all wife-beating and being a giant asshole, I give his performance kudos. And Marisa's role as a washed out stripper is a mirror to Rourke's, and in many ways almost sadder. Honestly, I don't know how Aronofsky pulled this one off without elliciting the audience's tears. This film is beautiful and harsh all at once, like a dollar bill stapled to someone's forehead for nothing more than comic effect.

Sifted: 9/10


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Now playing: Black Milk - Losing Out (feat. Royce Da 5'9")
via FoxyTunes

Film: Eastern Promises

So, we sit down to check out the latest Viggo Mortenson flick, Eastern Promises. We're sitting there, pleasantly watching -- me, my fiance, her dad, and his Ukrainian wife. We're thinking: hey, it's about the Russian Mafia, so it'll be a good watch and the Ukrainian will be able to enjoy it (incidentally, she figured out the plot before any of us native English speakers did. She's hella smart).

Within 30 minutes, we're assaulted by a glorious vision of fingers being cut off at the bone, bloody afterbirth (including a near cutting of the cord), a throat being slit, and Viggo going to town on a Russian whore.

I'm no prude, but really, was any of that necessary?

Why is it that whenever my in-laws are in town we end up renting the most morbid, twisted, sick movies available at the Videorama? Hey, my fiancé picked it!

It was actually a good flick, with just enough action to keep the dudes intrigued, and enough sexual tension to keep it within the chick flick realm. Viggo sure likes ultra-violence, even in his romantic movies....

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Now playing: Earworm - Funky Goes To Hollywood (Wild Cherry vs. Frankie Goes To Hollywood)
via FoxyTunes

Iron Man, Starring Rober Downey Jr.

Direct from Comic Con.

I don't even like Iron Man. But this looks really exceptional.

A New Kind of Movie Intro

If only....

Why Kucinich Can't Win

Face it, Kucinich has a HOT wife.

She's Lord of the Rings princess of the Elves, Galadriel, hot.

Meanwhile, Kuciznitch himself looks like Gollum on red bull.

He'd be the first president to die in office from a Viagra overdose.

Neuromancer Coming to the Big Screen

William Gibson's seminal sci-fi classic, Neuromancer, is finally going to be made into a film. I somehow doubt it will be any good, but at least someone will try to make that grand vision a reality. Now if only they could get Ridley Scott (of Blade Runner fame) to direct it!

[Neuromancer to be made into movie]

Imax 3D

Apparently, when you see a movie in Imax 3D, it makes boobs bigger.

[Harry Potter Sexified by Imax 3D]

Clone Movies: Similar Movies Released Within a Year

A must-read for movie lovers.

[Attack of the Clones: Suspiciously Similar Movie Showdown]

The Most Controversial Films of All Time

Excellent list. Having seen several of them, I will say it's a pretty good list.

[Most Controversial Films of All Time]

Movie Review: Turistas (2006)

Okay, so we didn't watch this one with the in-law, which was probably wise, because my laughter during some of the murder scenes would have probably made her feel more than a little uneasy about me.

If you enjoy horror films, you'll probably like Turistas. No, it's not great. No, it's not even that good. But it's entertaining and, some would say, even plausible.

Plot: A group of young American backpackers in Brazil find themselves stranded after a bus accident. They hike their way to an amazing, secret club/bar on the beach and decide to stay, only to find themselves out of their element, victimized by the locals. Teaming up with one local, they end up at a house of horrors.

This film is, in fact, a modern-day version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, only not as good. It stars a bunch of relative nobodies, save for Josh Duhamel (who is still a relative nobody, I suppose), and Melissa George (who does a great impression of a D'Abo sister circa 1986).

There is some hearty subtext going here, with plenty of racial overtones regarding class and globalization, but it's pretty light-hearted and never really coalesces into anything preachy or worthwhile.

Turistas wasn't a bad film. It just wasn't very good. And in a genre of ever-increasing kill rates and psychotic methods of dispatch, this was relatively boring. In any event, it's worth a rental, but I would laugh at you if I saw this one in your DVD collection.

Sifted: 5/10

Movie Review: The Holiday (2006)

A visiting in-law means I've been privy to watching movies I would normally not bother watching. One of these is The Holiday (2006), starring Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jack Black, and Jude Law.

First off, I want to distance myself from having a jaded viewpoint about this film simply because I'm not its intended audience. This movie, despite being a chick flick Romantic Comedy, sucked in an entirely new way. Not because I was not the intended audience, mind you, but because the forced plot devices and gymnastics involved rendered this film simply torturous. In fact, they should translate this into Arabic and force the people at Guantanamo to watch it repeatedly. Surely, that would force more than a few confessions.

The plot causes this movie to fall flat on its face. From the get-go, the viewer is expected to suspend their disbelief long enough to accept the unlikely scenario that there are two women on opposite sides of the planet who happen to be having relationship problems. They BOTH decide to go on vacation at a moment's notice. They BOTH happen across the same website offering home exchanges (and instant chat, mind you, which is not only implausible, but downright forcing a scene that would have been smoother had it taken place via long-distance phone call). They BOTH decide to exchange their homes on a moment's notice, (Kate doing so site unseen) deciding to switch pads THE NEXT DAY (without any exchange of contracts or paperwork, apparently). Okay, so if you manage to accept that implausible occurrence, then you're supposed to simply accept the fact that neither of these two bothers to alert their closest kin and significant others. This, of course, leads to Jude Law just showing up out of the blue to meet Cameron Diaz and Jack Black making an appearance to hook up with Kate Winslet.

Even if you're stupid enough to manage through that mangled plot, you're then expected to accept any number of impossibilities, such as these couples falling for each other in less than a week, the Screenwriter's Guild putting on a show for an old Hollywood writer in less than a week's time, and Cameron Diaz's spacey character actually being together enough to own her own business making movie trailers.

Speaking of Cameron Diaz, her acting is atrocious and over the top. It doesn't seem to be grounded in character at all. Jack Black plays himself, albeit with a more serious bent than usual. His performance is adequate, but nothing special. Jude Law is charming, but his chemistry with Diaz's character just seems forced and unnatural. Kate Winslet's performance seems to be the one valuable thing in the whole movie and that's a cloudy gem at best.

Chick flick doesn't even begin to describe this celluloid disaster. It's not even smart enough to be a good Romantic Comedy, frankly. In fact, it's somewhat insulting that Hollywood would level this to young working women, many of whom will probably enjoy it. I don't know. When I watch fantasy, I expect to see more than a few pointed ears and wizard's caps.

If you want a good romantic comedy, watch Bridget Jones' Diary, Sleepless in Seattle, Pretty Woman, Notting Hill, hell, even Serendipity has this wreck beat!

Sometimes it's called a Comfort Zone for a reason; I wish I'd never bothered leaving mine. Unless you want to waste 1:38 hours of your precious day (which inevitably felt like 3 hours, mind you), bypass this one and go watch the Spike channel on the upstairs television.

Sifted: 3/10

300: Beautiful Bigotry Writ Large

300 is one of the most visually stunning films ever made. It is easily the greatest visual masterpiece of the year. But as much as I loved the film, I hated it just as much. For all the lush colors and ultra violence, there's a disagreeable story lurking just beneath the surface. The subtext of the film is blatantly offensive and just plain bigoted. I would not recommend this film be viewed by impressionable teenagers, which is who it seems to unfortunately be marketed toward.

300 suffers from several flaws that make it disturbing to watch. Like eating a candied apple that has ground glass inside, you will probably enjoy it, then walk away from the experience feeling like something is terribly wrong.

Racism

I don't understand why Hollywood seems to insist its audience is entirely white, but 300's biggest flaw is caused precisely by this never-ending delusion. Not only are we to believe the Spartans are all Anglos (a matter the history books would disagree with vehemently), we're also expected to believe the Persians were a bunch of mulattoes and Negroids in eyeliner.

The Persians, in fact, are quite diverse, as opposed to the Spartan army. There are black envoys, ambassadors, and messengers from Persia. There are, of course, some Caucasians in the Persian army as well, and even a couple of Asians thrown in for good measure. There are also a number of freakish, monstrous-looking warriors and slaves in the Persian army. There are also any number of criminals associated with the Persian army. I gather, we're to equate diversity with ugliness, slavery, and criminality then?

The message seems quite clear almost from the start of 300: namely, that it's about the final, great white stand against an onslaught of racial hegemony. No, Matt Drudge, this isn't quite an analogy you can easily apply to the Iraq war, but it's an ugly allegory all the same.

Homophobia

Perhaps just as specious as the overt ethnocentrism is this underlying tone of homophobia that's more than blatant throughout the film. I won't draw a conclusion about Greek eroticism (it's been done), but we're led to believe the entire reason the Spartans choose to fight is because the Athenians chose to and they're a bunch of (ahem) "fag" philosophers. The Spartans, not wanting to be shown up, are obliged to enter this suicidal conflict against the Persians as a show of masculinity. In essence, gays are to blame for the Spartans getting involved. Sad scapegoating apparently goes back thousands of years.

This isn't the only outright homophobia in 300 either. At one point, we're treated to viewing Xerxes' concubine, which, of course, has a plethora of tongue-licking, erotic lesbians there as an enticement, and a number of activities that would make a typical S&M gathering look tame in comparison. Not to mention Xerxes himself, who's pierced to the nines and could easily double as a draq queen stand-in for Ru Paul, with all that makeup and those perfectly manicured long nails.

In other words, we're supposed to believe the Spartans are a bunch of masculine, white, heterosexual males fighting against an onslaught of diverse queers, freaks, and sexual deviants, despite the historical evidence that shows the Greeks were probably a bunch of pederasts who were probably more morally twisted than the Persians themselves ever were.

Conservative Politics

There is a strong undertone of "family values" being the drive behind the 300's choice to fight. They do so to protect their families and to ensure the sovereignty of Sparta. Supposedly, none of the Persians have families. Their only motivation is a bloodthirsty desire to bugger the residents of Greece and enslave all the hot Spartan women? Excuse me? Something just doesn't jive.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Perhaps the biggest flaw with 300 was also the most obvious. So obvious, in fact, that most people won't notice it at all. Here we have 300 men in the Battle of Thermopylae squaring off against 1 million+ Persians. According to history, the 300 successfully vanquished around 20,000 Persians. This, of course, begs the question: what happened to all the blood?

The fight choreography is stunningly poetic. Limbs get lobbed off and digital blood goes flying everywhere in slow motion in several scenes. But why is it that none of the Spartans are covered in blood? Not even their hands? Even their weapons look clean after supposed hours-long battles. Not that I wanted to see the blood, but there's something disturbingly wrong about a movie that exhibits all this violence like it's a pleasant music video, but conveniently leaves out all the blood. It's almost as if it's trying to say the act of killing is clean when it's a Persian who's being killed. Blood is a powerful symbol in storytelling. The decision to leave it out is very telling.

Only Hotties live in Sparta

From the start, it's explained that defective babies (namely, runts and those born with deformities) were discarded by the Spartans by being tossed off a cliff into a pile of bones below. This, apparently, has resulted in the world's most skilled warriors. So skilled, in fact, that they all sport perfect 6-packs as they walk toward battle, shirtless in all their conviction. Hollywood seems to have forgotten there was such a thing as a bronze breastplate. There is no room for deviation, either. Hunchbacks and old folk have no place in the Spartan army. In fact, there are no fat people, no ugly people, and no people with deformities in Sparta. Oh, and the women? They were all perfect 10's. Even the peasant working women.

Sexism

If there's anything 300 wants to get right, it's the depiction of how Spartans treated their women. Spartan women were, in fact, the leaders of their society. It was necessary for the women to be able to run things while their husbands were off fighting wars. Sparta was one of the only places in the Classical world where a girl could get an education. What's sad about 300, however, is the lack of many women at all in the story. There is one powerful woman in the film (the Queen) and she's fairly powerless, and ends up being victimized (and later vindicated, fortunately). The entire concept of femininity doesn't seem to exist in Sparta. Women are nothing but baby-making machines, even if they do produce Spartan men. There's something very wrong about showing this to teenage boys, mind you.

Despite all these issues (and I'm sure there are more that I didn't catch), 300 is a solid piece of beautiful celluloid work. It's quite gorgeous to look at, kind of like a Haute Couture model who's hiding an eating disorder and a nasty coke habit. But just as you wouldn't want your kids hanging out with Kate Moss, you should probably keep them from watching this one unless they have a sound enough mind to think for themselves. Sure, it's fun to watch America's Next Top Model, but would you really want to bring one home to mom? Sheesh.

Sifted: 8/10

The Violence of the Lambs!

Check out this trailer for Black Sheep and chuckle until your diaphragm gets all numb and tingly. This makes Snakes On A Plane look downright amateurish.

Hey Matt Drudge, is this some sort of analogy for the rise of Christian Fundamentalism? Clearly, the scientists represent Atheists, right? Lol.

300 a Veiled Analogy About Bush?

Articles on the Drudgereport like this one really piss me off. It would seem the muck raker is trying to force the producers of the upcoming (March 9th) film, 300, to take a stance on the Iraq war, either pro or against. My biggest problem with it all is that sometimes, just sometimes, stories aren't really analogies for anything! 300 was obviously produced because of the success of Sin City, another Frank Miller masterpiece (that also wasn't some secretive plot against the Bush administration, mind you).

Why does this war film suddenly have to carry a deeper meaning, or to be a commentary on our modern lives? Because the main plot happens to be about war? It simply looks like a celebration of gore and battle cinematography. It doesn't need to be about anything else, really.

Does it?

Maybe, in fact, that's the entire point of the movie, for despite the success of the Spartan warriors to deflect the oncoming Persian army, the ultimate outcome is the same: Sparta fades away into a few paragraphs in our high school history books. Maybe that, in fact, is the point: for all the saber rattling, war is a waste of time, a sort of Superbowl before the invention of the proverbial football.

In other words, Matt Drudge, you're the messenger standing on the edge of the cavernous hole and those of us who actually think for ourselves are the guys kicking you down into it, all the while yelling "This is Sparta!" How's that for an analogy? Now go crawl under a rock and shaddap.

Movie Review: Idiocracy (2006)

I don't know where to start with this one.

Idiocracy was directed by Mike Judge (who also directed Office Space).

Watching Idiocracy makes you feel kind of dirty. As if you've just watched 84 minutes of America's Funniest Home Videos, Cops, and Jackass, all rolled into one (without the guilt trip). If you see this movie, you will also easily recognize the irony in that last statement.

Idiocracy is about an average military guy, played by Luke Wilson--who happens to be perfect at delivering the dead-pan lines that are called for in this rather witty script. He discovers he's been included in a military experiment because of his average-ness, along with a prostitute (played by Maya Rudolph of Saturday Night Live fame). The two are put into a kind of suspended animation, then forgotten about for several hundred years. When they are finally resuscitated, it's a hilarious, dystopian future where the stupid people have out-bred the smart ones. Now, the morons live in a failed civilization that's on the verge of crumbling. Soon, the two learn they are the smartest people on earth; and it's not long before they're on the run from a society that doesn't appreciate their intelligence.

I admit, I enjoyed the wry sense of humor in this film. The in-jokes are plentiful and range from vulgar to politically incorrect, without ruining the subtle intelligence that lies beneath.

Unfortunately, this film is straight-up racist. It's not bigoted in a racist, philosophical, heavy-handed way, but it's more subtle and lighthearted in its racism. See, in the future, everyone speaks a sort of street speech, a combination of ebonics and gangster slang. There are plenty of minorities in this future world as well (including the President, a former Pro Wrestler), virtually ensuring viewers draw the connection between minorities and low IQ. Mike Judge seems to be forewarning me against myself and it just doesn't seem to work for me. Nevertheless, there is plenty of social commentary here, aside from race, that makes this film a must-view. Some people are saying this film is more controversial than Borat; having not yet seen Borat, I can't say. But I can vouch for the fact that Idiocracy is a smart movie that's getting off on telling its viewers that they're stupid, stupid, stupid.

If anything, my only complaint about this film is that it relied too heavily on stereotypes to crack jokes. Also, the narrator's commentary was a little annoying and unnecessary and would have made for a much stronger, more serious film, had it been removed. Talk about the ultimate in-joke: Mike Judge is calling us all idiots by having to explain the plot to us via a narrator. Clever.

By the end, it all grew a bit tiresome; but it was definitely fun while it lasted.

Sifted: 8.5/10

Movie: The Covenant (2006)

Directed by Renny Harling (of The Long Kiss Goodnight and Die Hard 2 fame - yes, I mean that facetiously). Starring a bunch of relative nobodies, this flick looked promising when I picked it up from VideoRama. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

A group of four teenage boys who go by the nickname "The Sons of Ipswitch," possess a long-held secret. They're the descendants of 5 families of witches dating back to the 17th century. They have special powers that have led them to unparalleled levels of popularity among their circle of nubile nymphets. Little do they know, however, that there's a member of the fifth family (thought to have been eliminated during the Salem witch hunt) among them. Not only does this intruder want to take away their power, but he also threatens to usurp their popularity. So it's on!

It's The Lost Boys meets Laguna Beach, meets Powerball Z, and boy does it suck. The sons of Ipswitch all come from old money, while the villain threatens to upset their status quo. I don't know about you, but I'm rooting for the bad guy this time. Those spoiled rich kids need to learn a lesson. If only....

Special Effects are exemplary, featuring a head-on collision between a Mustang and a semi truck. The Mustang disintegrates into thousands of little pieces, only to be re-assembled moments beyond the crash. This, unfortunately, was the high point (aside from one other sequence involving a motorcycle, which I won't spoil for you, even though I should). There just aren't enough visual moments like these to carry the film. The final battle ends up looking like a mangled blue-screen escapade, where two square off in a dark barn and hurl CGI blobs of energy goo at each other. Crude metaphor? Definitely.

The Soundtrack was entertaining, but not much else about this film would withstand more than a cursory analysis.

I actually fell asleep while watching this. And I never fall asleep while I'm watching movies. That attests to just how boring this actually was. If you have 1 hr. 37 minutes to spare, spend it learning how to crochet, because wasting it on The Covenant will make you wish you'd gauged your eyes out with a knitting needle.

Great quotes from Rotten Tomatoes:

• "I think the men were cast more for their abs than their acting."
• "Cleverly takes the lure of illegal drugs and links it to super powers."
• "WB-style homoerotic teen escapism." (Damn, that's cold, but ever so true).
• "Flying scenes, frat-boy face-offs and pyrotechnic punch-ups are punctuated by excruciating expository dialogue."

Sifted: 3/10

Video: Chronologically Confused about Movie and Video Game Sequels (NSFW)

Hilarious. And oh so very true.

Blockbuster Gives Free Rentals to Netflix Users

Next time you rip off the address sleeve from your Netflix DVD, save it. You can take it to Blockbuster through Dec. 21st and trade it for a free movie rental. [from Ars Technica]

Movie: Wassup Rockers (2005)

Directed by Larry Clark of Kids fame. Wassup Rockers is about the misadventures of a rag-tag crew of Latino skateboarders from South-Central Los Angeles who decide to spend a day in Beverly Hills.

This film is so damaged, I don't know where to begin.

First of all, kudos to a Hollywood studio and director for finally realizing Latino people actually exist. It was refreshing to catch a glimpse of such an invisible subculture as Latino skateboarders, and I think Larry Clark was able to once again showcase his uncanny ability to catch kids being themselves.

Unfortunately, that's where the compliments end. Because this film is smothered in racism, cliches, and stupid plot devices to such an extent that the entire film ends up doing more damage to the Latino community than aiding it.

This film doesn't know if it wants to be a documentary, a comedy, or some sort of socially critical drama, and ultimately it succeeds at none of the above. From an academic standpoint, an attempt could be made to view this film as some sort of analogy for Homer's The Odyssey, but that would be a mighty stretch. Because Wassup Rockers really isn't that deep, and granting it such a prestigious subtextual analysis is by far unwarranted. Not to mention, if it was an analogy for The Odyssey, it would be a poorly executed one anyway.

The problems here seem to reside primarily in the plot and the failed character development. Where Kids soared at showing us the seedy underbelly of the New York teen set, mainly by focusing on a few kids at a time, Wassup Rockers fails miserably from the beginning by presenting us with 7+ characters, all of which look and dress similarly. At no time is there any adequate explanation for why so many of these guys live together, or why they dress so oddly, or even why they enjoy skateboarding. We aren't shown their parents, nor is it explained how they managed to afford the equipment for their punk band. None of these guys has a job. They simply exist and we, as viewers, are supposed to somehow just accept it. Fine.

Unfortunately, the plot doesn't really develop from there. The crew decides to go to Beverly Hills one day, out of the blue, seemingly to skate in the High School parking lot. They are pulled over and their car impounded, but they inexplicably decide to continue on their quest by riding two city buses. Once they finally arrive in Beverly Hills, an inordinate amount of time is spent showing the crew doing tricks off a small stairway. It immediately becomes clear that these kids, despite their interest in skateboarding, aren't very good at it. Within minutes, they are set upon by a couple of debutantes who invite the crew back to their house. Of course, the crew gets busted by a bumbling white police officer shortly thereafter. The rest of the movie continues downhill from there. The suspension of disbelief collapses entirely as the film devolves into a stew of racism, homophobia, ageism, sexism, and whatnot.

Unfortunately, the attempt to stretch the boundaries of PC conventions is sadly sophomoric and ultimately comes off feeling strained and disingenuous. Cliches abound. Young black girls are confrontational or want to "braid their hair"; black males are violent, gun-wielding maniacs; homosexuals are foppishly dressed and inexplicably wealthy; whites are illustrated as depressed, unethical, homicidal, exploitative, alcoholic; Latino adults are seemingly all housekeepers, gossips, or just plain poor. In fact, it's difficult to see even one example of a positive adult role model in this film. The brief moments of humor are not enough to carry this movie or make an excuse for the blatantly offensive stereotypes peppered throughout.

I would not recommend this film to anyone. Maybe minority teenagers who are tired of the typical white fare coming out of Hollywood might find this film a little intriguing; anyone else would be better served watching paint dry.

Sifted: 4/10 (for excellent production values, if nothing else. Lighting, cinematography, editing and music were all more than adequate. This film is unusually stylized for being such a disaster, in fact).