Using Ms. Dewey

I read this article about new search programs, which sent me to Ms. Dewey.

At first, I was charmed by Ms. Dewey. She is fairly attractive, in that ambiguous minority, librarian sort of way. And she's also a bit flirtatious, almost coy.

But even before I start using Ms. Dewey, I'm a bit put off by the notion of doing it. There's something vaguely sexist about this whole thing. It's a bit disturbing. I feel guilty already, and I haven't even asked her any questions yet.

I decide to post about her, because the interface is kind of cool. So I bring up Blogger and leave Ms. Dewey running on another tab in the background.

Within a few seconds, she's making herself persistent. She knocks on the screen and mutters: "Anyone there?"

I switch over and see she's grown annoyed with me.

Already? She's actually copping 'tude!



Soon she whips out a PDA or a notebook, into which she scribbles something juicy, all the while peering at me from behind the cover.

She makes some declaration about ruling the world and gives a sinister laugh.

Soon, she's looking down, as if she's checking out my package, and then she has the nerve to snicker!

Okay, so now this is simply emasculating.



By this point, I haven't asked Ms. Dewey anything at all and she's already gotten sassy, flirty, annoyed, and downright rude with me.

"Hello!" she says. "Type something here," while she points down at the search bar with conviction.

I decide maybe I should just hold off on using Ms. Dewey, for now. I'm afraid her constant chastising has ruined the mood for me.