Game: Kessen III (PS2)

How to Conquer Japan While Pulling Your Hair Out

Strategy games hold a special place in my heart. If I were independently wealthy, I would spend all my time engaging in mock war games, as a matter of fact. Practicing for the real thing, obviously, pshaw!

I have experienced the sheer joy of conqeuring Feudal Japan not once, but twice before, in Kessen I and II, respectively. This third time, however, has proven to be intensely difficult. Maybe it is finally time to drop my wakizashi and take the masks off my ninjas, because Kessen III has finally gotten so tedious that it is no longer fun to bring the pain.

You get to control multiple armies in your attempt to unify feudal Japan. The gameplay is sheer fun. Have total control over how your horsemen attack on the field; place your archers and aim precisely into the opposing army, watching as your enemies lie before you on the battlefield.

The problem stems from a wild camera that wants to force you into top-down view of your armies. The camera will cause you to lose any number of battles, in fact, as you jockey with it, trying to get the right view. Find it and feel sheer joy for two seconds, until it resets itself! ARGH!

This is 2006. Game developers should not be putting out games with wild camera work. Note to developers: Either give us complete control over the view, or do what you want with it. This hybrid of moving an army and trying to control what you see on the screen at the same time is sheerly maddening.

If you can get past that assinine design flaw, imagine a dentist drill as you try to equip your officers. The user interface is so stupid you will eventually start bypassing it entirely, running into battle ill-equipped.

This game is sad, really. This was a chance for KOEI to make a leap into strategy gaming that would diminish the attempts of all their competitors, once and for all. Instead, they have left us twiddling with cameras like this was 2001. Some QA would have gone a long way with this one. Instead of producing a flawed, mediocre game, they could have had the strategy game of the year!

Even if you enjoy strategy gaming, you should not bother picking this one up in the used game bin. Do not be a fool and pay full price, unless you want to ponder real life hara-kiri.

Sifted: 3/10 (the 3 for high production value. The game is quite pretty to look at, but painful to play).

Note: If you want a better strategy game, go for Dai Senryaku. Yes, it is turn-based, but you cannot have it all….